[Repeated line in all 4 movies] Roger Murtaugh: I'm too old for this shit!
Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which ca...
Martin Riggs: I do it real good, you know. Roger Murtaugh: Do what? Martin Riggs: When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. It was a rifle shot in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It'...
[after rescuing Roger and Rianne] Martin Riggs: What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!
Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker. Roger Murtaugh: You sure? Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.
[after stopping Riggs from shooting himself] Roger Murtaugh: You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!
[Picking up a young prostitute] Young prostitute: What have you got in mind? Martin Riggs: Well, I want you to come home and watch television with me. Young prostitute: You serious? Martin Riggs: Yeah. "The 3 Stooges" are on in 20 minutes.
Sergeant McCaskey: You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren't tough. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I'm an '80s man... Roger Murtaugh: How do you figure? Sergeant...
Martin Riggs: You don't trust me at all, do you? Roger Murtaugh: Well, I'll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I'll start trusting you. Martin Riggs: Fair enough.
Martin Riggs: You know they're going to kill her, don't you? Roger Murtaugh: Yeah. Martin Riggs: So if you want her back, you're going to have to take her away from them. Roger Murtaugh: I know. Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot ...
Martin Riggs: [holding his wife's wedding photograph, crying, after deciding not to kill himself] See you later, babe.
[Endo shocks Riggs with a device] Mr. Joshua: Hit him again! Martin Riggs: [Endo does] [Martin groans as his body shakes violently] Mr. Joshua: [soft but enthused] Hit him again. Martin Riggs: [Endo hits him again for longer] Mr. Joshua: C'mon, tell ...
[Riggs and Murtaugh pull up outside Dixie's house to check out a theory] Roger Murtaugh: Like I said, thin. Martin Riggs: Probably nothing. [the house explodes, knocking them both to the ground. Murtaugh throws himself on Riggs] Martin Riggs: What ar...
Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself? Martin Riggs: Oh, for Chriss-... Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die? Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want? Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE Q...
Martin Riggs: You want me to drive? Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive. Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
Roger Murtaugh: [discussing a theory] That's pretty fucking thin. Martin Riggs: That's very thin. Roger Murtaugh: What the hell, thin's my middle name. Martin Riggs: Your wife's cooking, I'm not surprised. [fires his gun several more times] Roger Mur...
Martin Riggs: I don't make things complicated. That's the way they get, all by themselves.
[last lines] Roger Murtaugh: I'm too old for this...
