I had a dream about you. I asked you to move to Ocala, and you suggested moving Ocala to where you are. I thought this was a sensible plan, so I bought cardboard boxes and shovels, to loose all the real estate we were going to have to pack up.
I had a dream about you. You were the love of my life, if just for one night. I brought your body pure pleasure, and your orgasm sounded exactly like an alarm clock going off.
I had a dream about you. I was a chef and you were a buffet. The people were starving, children were dying of malnutrition, and all the politicians tried feeding them rhetoric. I suggested we save the planet, and you agreed, at least until you realiz...
I had a dream about you. I was in love with you, but you didn’t even know I existed. In fact, like a politician with integrity, I didn’t exist, and that’s the best part, because it was in that moment that I realized that love exists even in non...
I had a dream about you. The setting was upsetting. We were in hell where I was a prisoner and you were a guard. You reported directly to Satan, who reported directly to Congress.
I had a dream about you. You acted like a stranger, and tried to introduce yourself to me while standing next to me at my neighboring urinal in the men’s room. You tried to shake my hand before I’d even finished peeing, and it was this self-inter...
I had a dream about you. You were rich and I was poor, but I didn’t mind, because if I were rich I’d be trying to steal my own stuff, which is a very unproductive way to spend one’s time.
I had a dream about you. I was Nowhere Man, and I was there for you. I was as transparent as the current Presidential administration is invisible to the plight of the poor.
I had a dream about you. We made love like a couple of armless unicyclists. You asked if I had protection, and I responded that I brought two neon orange vests.
I had a dream about you. We were running on the beach in the moonlight, the sand glimmering like bronzed skin. The air was saturated with laughter, some of it was ours, but mostly it was from the audience seated in the stadium parallel to the ocean. ...
I had a dream about you. Dinner for two was meant to be romantic, and that’s why I made enough food for three people. You got angry and refused to join us for dinner, so I ended up eating alone, with one other woman there to accompany me.
I had a dream about you. We were competing salespeople, selling love to the people. You gave away free samples, and I didn’t. At first you sold more than me, but then you caught HIV and died skinny and alone.
I had a dream about you. I was a used car salesman, and you were in the market for a new horse. I suggested we both compromise, and meet in the middle—like the year 1950.
I had a dream about you. You were a well-read dentist, and I was a wisdom tooth. We argued over who was the better lover, and I decided to put it to a vote. Nine out of ten dentists recommended me as the better lover, probably due in no small part to...
I had a dream about you. You were a salesman trying to sell me clothes. I thought you were a genius, because you were naked. I tried to buy some sex, but you said you were all sold out of that. So I bought it off Amazon.com instead.
I had a dream about you. I was a professor, and you were my student. I taught sex education for college freshmen, and I didn’t think it unethical to trade good grades for sexual favors. I felt it would be cheating the students to not offer them the...
I had a dream about you. We made love in short bursts, like sound bites, and you left teeth marks—or denture bites—on my mannequin-like body.
I had a dream about you. You were naked, alone, and a mannequin, and I was a tailor named Taylor. You fell in love with me, even though you knew I only wanted you for your body. And I think you should know, the sex was amazing.
I had a dream about you. You smiled at me from across the room, and I captured your smile in a camera obscura. I said if you ever wanted to see your smile again, you’d better pay me the one-time sum of 2,000 gold coins. You took in the news and fro...
I had a dream about you. You had a gun to my head, figuratively speaking. In a literal sense you were holding a needle to my temple, because I was Mr. Bubblegumhead. I just wanted you to love me for me, and not because my face was chewy and sweet.
I had a dream about you. The Yesterday Leaf floated like a pack of feathers in flight. It was traveling north, because that’s the direction of warm tomorrow.
