I had a dream about you. I was in love with you, but you didn’t even know I existed. In fact, like a politician with integrity, I didn’t exist, and that’s the best part, because it was in that moment that I realized that love exists even in nonexistence. Then I thought, You can’t say no to nothing, so I have nothing to lose by asking you out on a date. But I didn’t, because I didn’t exist.