Quotes by Demetri Martin

About Demetri Martin:

Demetri Evan Martin is an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin.
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The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

Demetri Martin

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

Demetri Martin

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Demetri Martin

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

Demetri Martin

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

Demetri Martin

I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.

Demetri Martin

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

Demetri Martin

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

Demetri Martin

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

Demetri Martin

It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an old...

Demetri Martin

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out.

Demetri Martin

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

Demetri Martin

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, 'Oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.'

Demetri Martin

It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown.

Demetri Martin

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I sai...

Demetri Martin

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

Demetri Martin

I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.

Demetri Martin

I'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that.

Demetri Martin

I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.

Demetri Martin

Author Bio

  • NameDemetri Martin
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist
  • BornMay 25, 1973
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor
  • AwardsWriters Guild Of America Award