Tallahassee: Have you ever read that book "She's Just Not That Into You"?
Columbus: Hey, this may be a bad time, but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl.
Columbus: Fasten your seat belts. This is going to be a bumpy ride.
Columbus: The plague of the 21st Century, remember mad cow disease? Well mad cow became mad person became mad zombie. It's a fast acting virus that leaves you with a swollen brain, a raging fever, makes you hateful and violent and leaves you with a r...
Tallahassee: Hop in the car, Evel Knievel. Let's go ride the rollercoaster.
Tallahassee: [Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks!
Columbus: Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it...
Tallahassee: In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? "Los submarinos."
Bill Murray: [last line, after end credits] In the immortal words of Jean-Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, Gopher.'
Tallahassee: You see, that why i don't let people close, you only get burned.
Wichita: [Bill Murray lets out a long exhale, like he's taken his last breath, then inhales and does it again, before dying; Wichita suddenly bursts out giggling, everybody stares at her] I'm sorry, he just gets me. But, it's really sad.
