[Yosemite Sam, with his rear end on fire, lands near Eddie] Yosemite Sam: Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts! [Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the fire]
Roger Rabbit: When you called Maroon, you told him you had the will, but you don't. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad. He might try to kill you. Eddie Valiant: I can handle a Hollywood cream puff. I just don't want the odds to change. You stay her...
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Eddie. You know there's no justice for toons anymore. If the weasels get their hands on me, I'm as good as dipped.
Eddie Valiant: So, how long have you known it was Doom? Jessica Rabbit: Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at anything. Eddie Valiant: So he gave you the will for...
Birds: Hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... bye, Eddie!
Benny the Cab: Well, fellas, where can I drop you? Roger Rabbit: Somewhere we can hide. Benny the Cab: I've got just the place. And incidentally, if you should ever need a ride, just stick out your thumb. Hey! Share the road, will ya, lady?
Benny the Cab: And how about those Brooklyn Dodgers? Are they bums or what?
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Honey Bunny! Roger Rabbit: Oh, Love Cup. Jessica Rabbit: [kisses Roger] Oh, Roger! You were a pillar of strength.
Eddie Valiant: The job will cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses. R.K. Maroon: A hundred bucks? That's ridiculous! Eddie Valiant: So's the job.
Roger Rabbit: I just don't believe it. I won't believe it. I can't believe it. I shan't believe it.
Forensic #1: Didn't you used to be Eddie Valiant? Or did you change your name to Jack Daniels?
Kid #3: Hey, mister. Ain't you got a car? Eddie Valiant: Who needs a car in L.A.? We have the best public transportation system in the world.
Marvin Acme: Over here, Jessica. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed. Jessica Rabbit: Oh, not now, Marvin. I have a headache. Marvin Acme: But Jessica, you promised. Jessica Rabbit: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.
Benny the Cab: Pull the lever! Eddie Valiant: Which one? Roger Rabbit: Which one? Benny the Cab: "Which one?" [a sign pops up on the dashboard reading "This one, stupid!"]
Roger Rabbit: Listen, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead. Eddie Valiant: You might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this. [Tosses a photo at Dolores] Roger Rabbit: What is it...
Smart Ass: And as for you, Valiant, step out of line, and we'll hang you and your laundry out to dry.
Jessica Rabbit: Uh-oh. It's the weasels! This way. We'll take Gingerbread Lane. Eddie Valiant: No, no! Gingerbread Lane's this way! [Points with his thumb; suddenly, Benny the Cab appears in front of them] Benny the Cab: So, Valiant, you call a cab o...
R.K. Maroon: [Eddie has him with his tie caught in the Movieola, and is threathening to strangle him unless he tells him about Cloverleaf's involvement in the Acme murder] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! The truth is, I had a chance to sell my studio. But...
