[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger] Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request? Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice. Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge? Judge Doom: Well, why not? I d...
Roger Rabbit: Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it! Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling! Roger Rabbit: That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisf...
Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do. Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water. Eddie Valiant: Not prostate, you idiot, PROBATE!
Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing! Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh. Eddie Valiant: Sit down! Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. T...
Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here? Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh... Eddie Valiant: Who? Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green g...
Eddie Valiant: [after discovering the flattened Doom getting up and wobbling to his feet] Holy smoke, he's a Toon! Judge Doom: Surprised? Eddie Valiant: Not really. That lame-brained freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon. Judge Doom: Not jus...
[first lines] Mrs. Herman: Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, darling, but I'm leaving you with your favorite friend, Roger. He's going to take very, very good care of you, because if he doesn't... HE'S GOING BACK TO THE SCIENCE LAB.
[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains] Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was? Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit. Daffy Duck: Or a duck. Goofy: Or a dog. Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy. Big Bad Wolf: Or...
Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is? Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP! Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity thro...
Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway. Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway? Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimm...
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Eddie! Don't throw me out. Don't you realize you're making a big mistake? I didn't kill anybody. I swear! The whole thing's a set up. A scam, a frame job. Ow! Eddie, I could never hurt anybody. Oow! My whole purpose in life ...
Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the... [bottle falls on his head] Roger Rabbit: Nose! Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls." Eddie Valiant: No,...
Roger Rabbit: Jumpin' Jeepers. Benny the Cab: Hey Roger, what do you call the middle of a song? Roger Rabbit: Gee, I don't know [sees that they're heading for... ] Roger Rabbit: A BRIDGE!
Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happen to you to turn you into such a sourpuss? Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother. Roger Rabbit: A toon? No! Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robb...
Eddie Valiant: She's married to Roger Rabbit? Betty Boop: Yeah. What a lucky girl.
Jessica Rabbit: C'mon Roger, let's go home. I'll bake you a carrot cake.
Eddie Valiant: You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time? Roger Rabbit: No, not at any time, only when it was funny.
