Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing? [hits two with a plunger, throws it at the chubby one] Smart Ass: One of these days, you're gonna die laughing.
Smart Ass: Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit. Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do? Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit.
R.K. Maroon: Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? It's just Dumbo. Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who it is. R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney - him and half the cast of Fantasia. The best part is, they work for peanuts.
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?... Eddie Valiant! Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty! Betty Boop: Long time, no see! Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here? Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! ...
Smart Ass: Okay, wise-guy. Where's the rabbit? Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im. Smart Ass: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What's in there? Eddie Valiant: [holds up a dirty sock] My lingerie. Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose] I see, V...
Eddie Valiant: Dolores, you need to find yourself a good man. Dolores: But I already have a good man. [they are about to kiss when Roger sighs - they turn to him] Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, don't mind me.
[Eddie is hanging on to a flagpole] Tweety: Oh, wook! Piddies. Eddie Valiant: Hi, Tweety. Tweety: This wittle piddy went to market. [lifts one of Eddie's fingers from the pole] Tweety: This wittle piddy stayed home. [lifts another one] Eddie Valiant:...
Judge Doom: [while putting on a large black rubber glove] Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make Toons respect... [lets the glove snap back onto his arm] Judge D...
Roger Rabbit: Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room? Dolores: It's a rotgut room, holdover from Prohibition. Roger Rabbit: Oh, I get it, a speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlor.
Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme. Eddie Valiant: And R.K. Maroon. And my brother. Lt. Santino: Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.
Dolores: Do you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you? Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife! Dolores: Come on, Eddie! I caught you with your pants down!
Droopy Dog: [as a bellhop] Going up, sir? [eddie walks and falls on the elevator] Droopy Dog: [looking down from boxes] Mind the step, sir. Hold on, sir. [Droopy pulls a lever and Eddie is pulled to the floor with his head up as the elevator goes up ...
Roger Rabbit: Jeepers, Eddie. That was swell. You saved my life. How can I ever repay ya? [kisses Eddie, Eddie pulls away] Eddie Valiant: For starters, don't ever kiss me again.
Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector. Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chan...
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time! Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already. Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me. Raoul J. Raoul: I'm n...
Dolores: [catching Eddie with Jessica] Dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?
Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks... and I MEAN ICE!
Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours. Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did. Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel. Eddie Val...
