Roger Rabbit: Keep it up, Eddie. You're killing 'em. You're slaying 'em! You're knocking 'em DEAD!
Smart Ass: Say, Judge. You want we should disresemble the place? Judge Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me. [Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter] Judge Doom: No toon can resis...
Eddie Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown. R.K. Maroon: What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown. Eddie Valiant: Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.
Roger Rabbit: Boy, did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy. What timing! What finesse! What a genius!
Judge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit... [goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget squats] Judge Doom: Dolores: Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here harrassing my customers. Jud...
Judge Doom: [picks up the record from the record player - reads] "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down". What a looney selection for a group of drunken reprobates. [all the drinkers turn away and cough - Doom sniffs the record] Judge Doom: HE'S HERE! [throws re...
[as Doom is searching for Roger by tapping "Shave and a Haircut"] Eddie Valiant: I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom.
Roger Rabbit: What are we going to do, Eddie? What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? Eddie Valiant: What's all this we stuff? They just want the rabbit.
[last lines] Porky Pig: All right. M-m-m-ove along now. Th-th-there's nothing left to see here. That's all folks. Mmm, I like the sound of that. Porky Pig: [turns to audience; iris closes in on Porky and "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" plays on soundtrac...
Roger Rabbit: [singing] My buddy's Eddie V. / A sourpuss, you'll see / But when I'm done, he'll need no gun / 'Cause a joker he will be / C-D-E-F-G-H-I / I... love to raise some Cain / Believe me, it's no strain / It feels so great to smash a plate /...
Eddie Valiant: Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose? Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant? Eddie Valiant: No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip. [Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry...
Roger Rabbit: [Crying] No wonder you hate me. If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too. Eddie Valiant: Come on, don't cry. I don't hate you. Roger Rabbit: Yes, you do. Eddie Valiant: No, I don't. Roger Rabbit: You do hate me. Otherwise, you would...
Bullet #1: What in Sam Hill? Bullet #2: Eddie Valiant! Why, you're a sight for sore eyes. Bullet #1: I ain't seen you nigh onto five years. Bullet #2: Where've you been? Eddie Valiant: Drunk. You feeling frisky tonight, fellas? Bullet #1, Bullet #2:...
Roger Rabbit: Let's forget it, there's nobody here! Eddie Valiant: Is that it, or are you scared? Roger Rabbit: P-p-p-p-please! Me, scared? Don't be ridiculous! [teeth chatter]
Benny the Cab: [seeing two cars in each lane blocking his path] Will you look at these two? [swerves past and between them] Benny the Cab: Excuse me, ladies! Now that's what I call a couple of roadhogs.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Roger. You were magnificent. Roger Rabbit: Was I really? Jessica Rabbit: Better than Goofy.
Eddie Valiant: Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.
Dolores: I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels.
