Harry Burns: Repeat after me. Pepper. Sally Albright: Pepper. Harry Burns: Pepper. Sally Albright: Pepper. Harry Burns: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash. Sally Albright: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash. Harry Burns: B...
Harry Burns: You were going to be a gymnast. Sally Albright: A journalist. Harry Burns: Right, that's what I said.
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry. Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse? Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair ou...
Harry Burns: You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.
Sally Albright: You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you. I just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at 3:00 in the morning and go clean your andirons, and you don't even have a fireplace, not that I...
Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the...
Sally Albright: Yes it is. You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.
Marie: Restaurants are to people in the 80's what theatres were to people in the 60's. I read that in a magazine. Jess: I wrote that. Marie: Get out of here. Jess: I did, I wrote that. Marie: Where did I read that? Jess: New York magazine Harry: Sall...
Marie: Someone is staring at you in "personal growth".
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn'...
[first lines] Documentary Couple: I was sitting with my friend Arthur Kornblum, in a restaurant, it was a Horn and Hardart cafeteria. And this beautiful girl walked in and I turned to Arthur and I said Arthur, you see that girl? I'm going to marry he...
Sally Albright: [sobbing] All this time I've been saying that he didn't want to get married. But the truth is he didn't want to marry me. He didn't love me.
Jess: Emily is terrific. Harry Burns: Yeah. But of course when I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?" Jess: No.
Harry Burns: Why are you getting so upset? This is not about you.
Marie: The point is, he just spent $120 on a new nightgown for his wife. I don't think he's ever gonna leave her. Sally Albright: No one thinks he's ever gonna leave her. Marie: You're right, you're right, I know you're right.
Harry: [after he has run into his ex-wife] She looked weird didn't she? She looked really weird. Sally: I don't know, I've never seen her before. Harry: Trust me, she looked weird. Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must retaining water. Sally: Harry...
Jess: So what is she? Harry Burns: Attractive. Jess: But not BEAUTIFUL, right?
