Sally Albright: I don't have to take this crap from you. Harry Burns: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone? Sally Albright: I see people. Harry Burns: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe? Sally Albrig...
Harry Burns: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cos...
Marie: I don't think he's ever going to leave her. Sally: Nobody thinks he's never going to leave her. Marie: You're right, you're right. I know you're right.
Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment. Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorma...
Harry Burns: I miss her. Sally Albright: I don't miss him. I really don't. Harry Burns: Not even a little? Sally Albright: You know what I miss? I miss the *idea* of him. Harry Burns: Maybe I only miss the *idea* of Helen... No, I miss the whole Hele...
Harry Burns: [about Sally] I can say anything to her. Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me? Harry Burns: No, it's just different. It's a whole different perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells m...
Sally: He just met her... She's supposed to be his transitional person, she's not supposed to be the ONE. All this time I thought he didn't want to get married. But, the truth is, he didn't want to marry me. He didn't love me. Harry: If you could tak...
Sally Albright: Is Harry bringing anybody to the wedding? Marie: I don't think so. Sally Albright: Is he seeing anybody? Marie: He was seeing this anthropologist, but... Sally Albright: What's she look like? Marie: Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic ...
Harry Burns: And was it worth it? The sacrifice for a friend you don't even keep in touch with? Sally Albright: Harry, you might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
Harry Burns: You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog? Sally Albright: Is one of us supposed to be a DOG in this scenario? Harry Burns: Yes. Sally Albright: Who is the dog? Harry Burns: You are. Sally Albright: I am? I am the dog?...
Harry Burns: You know, you may be the first attractive woman I've not wanted to sleep with in my entire life. Sally Albright: That's wonderful, Harry.
Marie: All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband
[Playing "Pictionary."] Jess: "Baby talk"? That's not a saying. Harry Burns: Oh, but "baby fish mouth" is sweeping the nation? I hear them talking.
Sally Albright: I am not your consolation prize, Harry.
Harry Burns: How long do you like to be held after sex? All night, right? See, that's your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem. Sally Albright: I don't have a problem. Harry Burns: Yes, you do.
Jess: No one has ever quoted me back to me before.
[Unable to guess what Sally is trying to draw during a round of Pictionary] Jess: Draw SOMETHING resembling ANYTHING.
Sally Albright: Harry, you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.
