Bree Osbourne: Fasten your seatbelt. Toby: I don't like wearing them. Bree Osbourne: Well I don't like the idea of seeing your internal organs splattered all over the dashboard if we get into a wreck, God forbid, so put it on.
Toby: And these shoes. Three dollars, a dollar fifty each. You know how much these things are worth in Japan? Bree Osbourne: Three dollars? Toby: Like 500 dollars. Japanese people kill for old Nikes. Bree Osbourne: Then you probably should avoid wear...
Wayne: School's gonna be closing in about fifteen minutes. Toby: Wayne, this is really hard. Do you think you could give me a hand? Wayne: Sure - what subject? Toby: [Toby stands, pushes down his surfer shorts] Sex education.
Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay? Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon. Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Fro...
[discovering that her son is a frog-stealing, drug addicted prostitute] Bree Osbourne: How much is the bail? NYC Cop: Bail is set at one dollar. Bree Osbourne: I can't possible afford... one dollar?
Hitchhiker: I'm a Level 4 Vegan: I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.
Bree Osbourne: Jesus made me this way so I could suffer and be reborn the way he wanted me!
Bree: Have you lived all your life in New Mexico? Calvin: Not yet...
Toby: How come an Indian wears a cowboy hat? Calvin: Well, I guess it's because it keeps the sun out of my eyes better than a head band and a couple of eagle feathers.
