Billy Ray Valentine: [watches Louis clean his shotgun] You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em. Louis Winthorpe III: Why not? Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called ...
[last lines] Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray! Billy Ray: Feeling good, Louis!
Even Bigger Black Guy: I mean you beatin' 10 cops? You putting a man in the hospital? How come I don't see no bruises on you? Big Black Guy: Yeah! Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause I'm a karate man! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show t...
Louis Winthorpe III: [to Penelope] Those men wanted to have sex with me!
Billy Ray: When I was a kid, if we wanted bubbles, we had to fart in the tub.
Billy Ray Valentine: Hey that's the motherf- I mean... that's the gentleman that had me busted.
Randolph Duke: [Valentine overhears the Dukes talking in the bathroom] Pay up, Mortimer. I've won the bet. Mortimer Duke: Here, one dollar. Randolph Duke: [chuckling] We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Valentine, and turned him into a succes...
Coleman: [offering Billy Ray a sip from his flask; Coleman dressed as a priest, Billy Ray in African garb] Would you like a sip of whiskey? Billy Ray Valentine: I do not drink, it is against my religion! Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken...
Louis: My God! The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market! Ophelia: Unless somebody stops them... Coleman: ...or *beats* them to it. [all turn and look at him] Coleman: Egg-nog?
Even Bigger Black Guy: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.
Pawnbroker: Burnt my fingers, man. Louis Winthorpe III: I beg your pardon? Pawnbroker: Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'. Louis Winthorpe III: Hot? Do you mean to imply stolen? Pawnbroker: I'll give you 50 bucks for it. Louis Winthorpe III: Fif...
Louis Winthorpe III: He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.
Louis Winthorpe III: Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph! Billy Ray Valentine: Lionel! From the African Education Conference! Louis Winthorpe III: Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion. Billy Ray Valen...
Billy Ray Valentine: [on his first day of work] What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected? Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.
Ophelia: [Ophelia notices Louis watching her undress] By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch.
President of Exchange: [Randolph Duke has just collapsed with shock] Mortimer, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance. Mortimer Duke: Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! T...
Randolph Duke: Ezra. Right on time. I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten your Christmas bonus. There you are. Ezra: Five dollars. Maybe I'll go to the movies... by myself. Mortimer Duke: Half of it is from me. Ezra: Thank you, Mr. Mortimer. [mouthing s...
Louis Winthorpe III: [approaching the New York Commodities Exchange] Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced wil...
