Lori: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! [Lori goes for her gun, Quaid shoots her in the head, killing her] Douglas Quaid: Consider that a divorce!
Melina: Hello, Hauser. Still bulging, I see. [rubs his deltoid, then grabs his crotch] Melina: What you been feeding this thing? Douglas Quaid: Blondes. Melina: I think it's still hungry.
Benny: [to Mary, the three-breasted hooker] Baby, you make me wish I had three hands.
Douglas Quaid: See you at the party, Richter!
Benny: Hey, Quaid! I'm gonna squash you! Douglas Quaid: Benny! Here! Benny: [shouts] Where the fuck are you? Douglas Quaid: [killing him with a large drill] SCREW YOU!
Tony: You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here, Hauser. Douglas Quaid: Look who's talking.
[last lines] Melina: I can't believe it, it's like a dream. What's wrong? Douglas Quaid: I just had a terrible thought... what if this is a dream? Melina: Well, then, kiss me quick before you wake up!
Bob McClane: What is it that is exactly the same about every single vacation you have ever taken? Douglas Quaid: I give up. Bob McClane: You! You're the same. No matter where you go, there you are. It's always the same old you. Let me suggest that yo...
Richter: I want that fucker dead! Helm: I don't blame you, man. I wouldn't want a guy like Quaid porkin' my old lady. Richter: You saying she liked it? Helm: Uh... no... I'm sure she hated every minute of it.
Lori: No wonder you're having nightmares. You're always watching the news.
Lori: Sorry, Quaid. Your whole life is just a dream.
[Quaid enters a Johnnycab to escape from killers] Johnnycab: Please state the street and number. Douglas Quaid: Drive! drive! Johnnycab: I'm not familiar with that address. Would you please repeat the destination? Douglas Quaid: Anywhere just go! Go!...
[Quaid wakes up in a Johnnycab] Douglas Quaid: Where am I? Johnnycab: You're in a Johnnycab. Douglas Quaid: I mean, what am I doing here? Johnnycab: I'm sorry. Would you please rephrase the question? Douglas Quaid: How did I get in this taxi? Johnnyc...
[the taxicab pulls up] Johnnycab: The fare is 18 credits, please. [Quaid gets out] Douglas Quaid: Sue me, dickhead! [cab tries to run him down, crashes, and explodes] Johnnycab: We hope you enjoyed the ride!
Benny: You ever fuck a mutant?
Richter: You have to make a decision, sir. Vilos Cohaagen: Kill him. Richter: It's about goddamn time.
Douglas Quaid: Ever heard of Rekall? They sell those fake memories. Harry: Oh, "Rekall, Rekall, Rekall." You thinking of going there? Douglas Quaid: I don't know, maybe. Harry: Well, don't. A friend of mine tried one their "special offers," nearly go...
[Douglas Quaid seeing his real personality on the screen] Hauser: Now, this is the plan. Get your ass to Mars.
