Michael Dorsey: Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me? George Fields: No, no, that's too limited... nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a *tomato* for 30 seconds -...
[Dorothy Michaels' screen test] Rita: I'd like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back? Cameraman: How do you feel about Cleveland? Rita: Knock it off.
Ron Carlisle: I'm afraid you're not right for this role. Thanks for coming by. Dorothy Michaels: Why am I not right, Mister Carlisle? Ron Carlisle: I'm trying to make a certain statement and I'm looking for a specific physical type. Dorothy Michaels:...
[ad-libbing on day time television] Dorothy Michaels: Dr Brewster tried to seduce several nurses in this unit, claiming to be the throes of an uncontrollable impulse. Do you know what? I'm going to give every nurse on this floor an electric cattle pr...
Ron Carlisle: [after Dorothy reveals she is a man] I *knew* there was a reason she didn't like me!
Michael Dorsey: Friends? Sandy: No, we are not friends. I don't take this shit from friends. Only lovers.
Julie: I miss Dorothy. Michael Dorsey: You don't have to. She's right here. And she misses you. Look, you don't know me from Adam. But I was a better man with you, as a woman... than I ever was with a woman, as a man. You know what I mean? I just got...
Sandy: Wish me luck. Michael Dorsey: Fuck you. Sandy: Thanks. Michael Dorsey: Fuck you.
Jeff: That is one *nutty* hospital.
Dorothy Michaels: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?
Ron Carlisle: Take, Tootsie. Dorothy Michaels: Ron? I have a name it's Dorothy. It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll. Ron Carlisle: Oh, Christ. Dorothy Michaels: No, just Dorothy. Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom and John's alway...
Michael Dorsey: [Sandy has seen Michael going into his apartment dressed as Dorothy, and she thinks this means he's having an affair with a woman] Sandy, I'm not having an affair with the woman who went into my apartment earlier, alright? It's imposs...
Jeff: I'm just afraid that you're going to burn in Hell for all this.
Jeff: I don't like it when people come up to me after my plays and say, "I really dug your message, man." Or, "I really dug your play, man, I cried." You know. I like it when people come up to me the next day, or a week later, and they say, "I saw yo...
Michael Dorsey: You should have seen the look on her face when she thought I was a lesbian. George Fields: "Lesbian"? You just said gay. Michael Dorsey: No, no, no - SANDY thinks I'm gay, JULIE thinks I'm a lesbian. George Fields: I thought Dorothy w...
Michael Dorsey: I don't believe in hell. I believe in UNEMPLOYMENT, but not hell.
Julie: [answering phone] Hello? Dorothy Michaels: That's a corncob.
Dorothy Michaels: Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does tha...
