Woody: [Imitating Harvey] I'm Harvey and I'm here to give you jip.
School Bully: Keith. Keithy. oi, oi. [whistles] Shaun: Talkin' to me? [nods] Shaun: What? School Bully: I never knew Keith Chegwin had a son. Shaun: Piss off. School Bully: What the fuck are they? Shaun: These, I'm wearing them for a bet, what's your...
Woody: Listen to me. He's a young lad. He's had a fucking bad week. So we bring him in wi' us to show him a bloody good time and you've just friggin back handed him roun' head. I'M DISAPPOINTED MATE!
Mr. Sandhu: [after Shaun finally leaves the shop] Oh, and you're banned. Shaun: Oh, and you're a mong.
Woody: Honestly mate, you look sterling.
Combo: But I've got one question to ask you. Do you consider yourself English, or Jamaican? [There's a long uneasy silence, as Milky looks around nervously to the rest of his friends... ] Milky: [eventually] English. Combo: Lovely, lovely, love you f...
Shaun: I just wondered if you'd like to be my girlfriend. I think you're lovely.
Smell: You might look about four, but you kiss like a fourty year old!
Combo: [Walking with Shaun, Gadget, Meggy and Banjo, noticing three Indian boys playing football in a corner] Look at these little fuckin' sewer rats, look. Fuckin' vermin. Boys! [the boys group together, but Meggy snatches the ball from them] Combo:...
Woody: [after Gadget tells Shaun to go home] Now I feel bad, I feel bad now. [Looks at Gadget] Woody: You fucking prick, you know what you are? [smacks a pastry out of Gadget's hands] Woody: You're a friggin' bully, Gadget.
Smell: I loved when you gave me that cake, that was sweet. Did you make it yourself? Shaun: [bashfully] Ya Smell: You didn't make it yourself, did you? Shaun: [laughing] No
Combo: [to Sandhu] Don't you fucking dare backchat me, or I will slay you now where you fucking stand, you fucking Paki cunt!
Combo: [to Sandhu, after robbing him] Picking on a kid, mate? Fucking hell. Picking on a fucking kid, was ya? Eh? Mr. Sandhu: Just take what you want and go, OK? Combo: SHUT UP! I'M talking! I'M your fucking size! Fuck with me! Mr. Sandhu: You got wh...
Shaun: Get me... 'undred fags, two bottles of wine, a bottle of whisky, and ten cans of lager now. Mr. Sandhu: You know what you're gonna have? Nothing! Shaun: What? Mr. Sandhu: You know you're not supposed to be in here. Go. Out. Bang. Shaun: Just f...
Lenny: Some people say we're racists.We're not racists. We're realists.Some people call us Nazis.We're not Nazis.No, what we are, we are nationalists and there's a reason people try to pigeonhole us like this.And that is because of one word, gentleme...
Combo: [Gadget steals countless jars of sweets from Sandhu's shop] Fuckin' hell, Gadge. Couldn't you get any more fucking sweets, man?
Shaun: [Milky is bloody and unconscious] Oh, Combo, what have you done to 'im? Combo: Men don't cry! Remember, men don't cry!
School Bully: I'll tell you how to get four people into a mini. Two in the back, two in the front and your Dad in the ashtray!