Jordan Belfort: See those little black boxes? They're called telephones. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. They're not gonna dial themselves. Okay? Without you, they're just worthless hunks of plastic. Like a loaded M16 ...
Patrick Denham: I'm sure we'll be seeing each other real soon. Jordan Belfort: I'm sure. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly fuckin' wives. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime.
Donnie Azoff: Jordan, it's fucking good, right? It's fucked up. Jordan Belfort: GET OFF THE PHONE! GET OFF THE PHONE! FBI! Donnie Azoff: [laughing] I'm on the phone!
Jordan Belfort: Donnie and I were going out on our own. And the first thing we needed was brokers. Guys with Sales experience. So I recruited some of my home town boys. Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed. Chester, who sold tires and weed. And Robbie, ...
Jordan Belfort: [when asked who is Captain Ahab] The book, motherfucker, the book!
Donnie Azoff: I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. Brad: You'll give me a call? Donnie Azoff: When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up. Chantalle: W...
Donnie Azoff: [peeing on his subpoena] Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you! Fuck you!
Mark Hanna: Nobody knows if a stock is going to go up, down, sideways or in circles. You know what a Fugazi is?" Jordan Belfort: Fugazi, it's a fake. Mark Hanna: Fugazi, Fugazi. It's a wazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust.
Donnie Azoff: You dress like shit, so fuck you! Brad: Motherfucker! [punches Donnie] Jordan Belfort: OOH! Jesus! Brad: How do you like that? Who's the faggot now? Jordan Belfort: You okay? Hey pal.
Donnie Azoff: [Donnie was pretending to be drunk] It was a joke! I'm sober. It's a fucking joke. Brad: Are you fucking stupid?
Jordan Belfort: [Fuorious about newspaper article] Look at this! The wolf of Wall Street they call me! Look! Teresa Petrillo: Your hair looks good.
Donnie Azoff: Whoa! Did you just try to kiss me, bro?
Max Belfort: [hears a phone] Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? God damn it! Leah Belfort: [watching TV] You're going to miss it! Max Belfort: Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equal...
Mark Hanna: So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it's at 16 and he's all fucking happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his fucking money and run home, you don't let him do that... 'cause that would make it real.
Aunt Emma: Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling?
[last lines] Jordan Belfort: I'm not ashamed to admit it: my first time in prison, I was terrified. For a moment, I had forgotten I lived in a world where everything was for sale. Wouldn't you like to know how to sell it?
Jordan Belfort: The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.
Jordan Belfort: This is the greatest company in the world!
