Jordan Belfort: Let me tell you something. There's no nobility in poverty. I've been a poor man, and I've been a rich man. And I choose rich every fucking time.
Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit cards? Donnie Azoff: A rich one.
Jordan Belfort: I fucked her brains out... for eleven seconds.
[from trailer] Jordan Belfort: My name is Jordan Belfort. I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which ...
Jordan Belfort: On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocai...
Max Belfort: $430,000 in one month, Jordy. huh? Jordan Belfort: They're business expenses. Max Belfort: Jordy, look what you've got here. Look at this! $26,000 for one dinner. Jordan Belfort: No, no, this can be explained. Dad, we had clients, Pfizer...
[repeated line] Jordan Belfort: Sell me this pen!
Jordan Belfort: You want a beer, pal? Donnie Azoff: What are you drinkin'? Jordan Belfort: I got this non-alcoholic shit... Donnie Azoff: What's that? Jordan Belfort: It's like a non-alcoholic beer. It's got no... no alcohol. Donnie Azoff: It's a bee...
Mark Hanna: The name of the game, moving the money from the client's pocket to your pocket. Jordan Belfort: But if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct? Mark Hanna: No.
Jordan Belfort: Her pussy was like heroine to me. And it wasn't just about the sex either. Naomi and I got along. I mean, we had similar interests and shit.
Jordan Belfort: I am not gonna die sober!
Mark Hanna: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off? Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? Yeah. Mark Hanna: How many times a week? Jordan Belfort: Like um... three, three or four times maybe. Mark Hanna: All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie n...
Jordan Belfort: People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think. Jordan Belfort: Is she like, a first cousin? Donnie Azoff: Her father...
Patrick Denham: Let me give you some legal advice: Shut the fuck up!
Jordan Belfort: [holding his child] Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls? Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, no. No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy for a very, very... very long time. Jordan Belfort: Daddy's really sorry about what he said in ...
Jordan Belfort: [Wakes up on plane; finds he is restrained by a seatbelt across his chest] Oh, Jesus Christ. Fuck. Donnie. Donnie this isn't... this isn't funny, you gotta untie me, buddy. Donnie Azoff: I can't untie you! The captain tied you up, he ...
Jordan Belfort: [to the waiter] Oh, I'm good with water for now. Mark Hanna: It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.
Donnie Azoff: I'll tell you what: I'm never eating at Benihana again. I don't care whose birthday it is.
