[Max Bialystock drops him to the floor] Leo Bloom: Ooh, I fell on my keys!
Franz Liebkind: [runs backstage to try to stop the play] Stagehand: Hey, what can I do for you? Franz Liebkind: You will please be unconscious. [hits him on the head]
Max Bialystock: Leo, he who hesitates is poor!
Max Bialystock: Money is honey! Money is honey!
Max Bialystock: [smiling at Leo to calm him down] Well you know what they say, 'smile and the world smiles with you' [looks at audience] Max Bialystock: this man should be in a straight-jacket
Leo Bloom: I'm a nothing. I spend my life counting other people's money. People I'm smarter than. Better than! I want... I want... [shouts] Leo Bloom: I want everything I've ever seen in the movies!
The landlord: He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law. Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket? The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord. Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my p...
Carmen Giya: We're not alone!
One of singers: I was born in Düsseldorf and that is why they call me Rolf !
Jury Foreman: We find the defendants incredibly guilty.
Leo Bloom: My blanket! My blue blanket! Give me my blue blanket!
Ulla: Goddag på dig! Leo Bloom: Uh, I beg your pardon? Ulla: Goddag på dig! Leo Bloom: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say? Max Bialystock: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"
Max Bialystock: Max Bialystock is launching himself into little old lady land.
Max Bialystock: Thank you, I knew I could con you.
Leo Bloom: Let's assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man. Max Bialystock: Assume away.
Max Bialystock: That's exactly why we want to produce this play. To show the world the true Hitler, the Hitler you loved, the Hitler you knew, the Hitler with a song in his heart.
Max Bialystock: You're an accountant! You're in a noble profession! The word "count" is part of your title!
[on stage during the song] All: Springtime for Hitler and Germany.
