Hank Palmer: Everyone wants Atticus Finch until there's a dead hooker in a bathtub. Note: Atticus Finch is the lawyer in "To Kill a Mockingbird."
[from trailer] Hank Palmer: My father is a lot of unpleasant things, but murderer is not one of them.
Mike Kattan: And how does it feel, Hank? Knowing that every client you represent is guilty? Hank Palmer: It's fine. Innocent people can't afford me.
[from trailer] Judge Joseph Palmer: You and I are finally done. Hank Palmer: Oh, we're not done.
Dwight Dickham: You're a shined up wooden nickel, Mr Palmer. A bully with a bag of tricks. But unlike you, I have one simple belief. That the law is the only thing that's capable of making people equal. Now you may think that Mark Blackwell is white ...
Hank Palmer: Shit happens. Judge Joseph Palmer: Like your marriage.
Dwight Dickham: The law is the only thing capable of making people equal
Hank Palmer: Grandpa Schneider is kind of, you know, nice and affable. He'd maybe take you for ice cream, maybe read to you. Grandpa Palmer doesn't wanna do any of that. If you ask him to read, he might throw the book at you.
C.P. Kennedy: Now, what exactly is our target juror? Judge Joseph Palmer: Intelligent people who will listen to instructions and follow the evidence. Hank Palmer: Crackpots. Those I can persuade to swallow their own tongue. Anyone who's seen a Sasqua...
Hank Palmer: You think there's something else after we die? Judge Joseph Palmer: You asking me if I believe in God? Hank Palmer: Do you? Judge Joseph Palmer: I'm 72 with stage 4 cancer. What choice do I have?
Hank Palmer: Did you know 90% of the country believes in ghosts? less than a third in evolution? 35% can correctly identify Homer Simpson's fictional town in which he resides, less than 1% knows the name Thurgood Marshall. But... when you put 12 Amer...
Hank Palmer: This family's a fucking Picasso painting.
Doc Morris: Wow, this isn't an act, is it? You really aren't a pleasant person. Hank Palmer: Right now? I'm a summer breeze. Once I subpoena you, get you on the stand and extract the truth from your ass like tree sap THEN you'll realize in THAT momen...
[first lines] Mike Kattan: [stomping into the mens room] You're not getting away with this. Palmer, you asshole!... Hey! Hank Palmer: [turning toward him getting him wet] Yeah. Oops.
Samantha Powell: Stop staring. I know I look good.
Hank Palmer: Imagine a far away place, Hank, where people value your opinion. Now go there.
Samantha Powell: Yeah, well, it's my bullshit, kindly remove your shoes from it.
Judge Joseph Palmer: You gonna be ok at the funeral tomorrow? That camera makes an appearance, we both know where it's heading, right? Dale Palmer: Up my ass. Judge Joseph Palmer: Good man.
