Conrad: They just fuck you and they fuck you and they fuck you, and then just when you think it's all over, that's when the real fucking starts!
[Nicholas van Orten loses a shoe when climbing a fire-escape ladder] Nicholas: There goes a thousand dollars. Christine: Your shoes cost a thousand dollars? Nicholas: That one did.
Daniel Schorr: Discovering the object of the game *is* the object of the game.
Nicholas: So, you've played recently? New Member Ted: Oh, about a year ago. I was working in Los Angeles. Nicholas: I hear the London office is very good, too. It just sounds like a lot of fantasy, role-playing nonsense. New Member Ted: [leans in] Yo...
New Member Ted: This was the best one *ever*! Jim Feingold: [shakes Nicholas's hand] You know, thank God you jumped, because if you didn't, I was supposed to throw you off!
Nicholas: I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. I want to meet the wizard.
Nicholas: And you really believe that just because you publish children's books, people are going to care about my reputation? You can have pictures of me wearing nipple rings, butt-fucking Captain Kangaroo. The only thing they care about is the stoc...
Conrad: This is for you. Nicholas: You shouldn't have. Conrad: What do you get for the man who has... everything? Nicholas: [reading card] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs. Conrad: Call that number. Nicholas: Why? Conrad: Ma...
Conrad: They won't leave me alone! I'm a goddam human piñata!
Nicholas: No, what is this? What are you... selling? Jim Feingold: Oh. It's a game.
Samuel Sutherland: [Nicholas is making rounds at his birthday party] Nicholas, I haven't a *clue* what's going on, but your taste in champagne is excellent, as always. Anson Baer: It was a *great* entrance!
Nicholas: What's that? Conrad: [signs document] This... is... the bill. Nicholas: Do you want to split it? Conrad: [exhales] Oh God yes! I'll take some of that... [shows Nicholas enormous number at bottom of receipt] Nicholas: [shocked look] Oh my Go...
Nicholas: You don't know anything about society, Marie; you don't have the satisfaction of avoiding it.
Daniel Schorr: [on TV] A staggering 57% of American workers believe there is a very real chance they will be unemployed in the next 5 to 7 years. But what does that matter to a bloated millionaire fat-cat like you?
Christine: You got a shower in your office? Nicholas: Yeah. Christine: You an athlete or something? Nicholas: No, I'm an investment banker.
Nicholas: [leveling gun at carjacker] I am extremely fragile right now.
[last lines] Christine: Would you like to have coffee with me at the airport?
[In a fancy restaurant] Conrad: I've been here before. Nicholas: I took you here for your birthday. Conrad: No, I used to buy crystal meth from the Maitre D.
