Samson Posey: I reckon the folks'd be a sight happier if I died like a soldier. Can't say I would.
Joseph T. Wladislaw: Killin' generals could get to be a habit with me.
Victor R. Franko: Hey! What's the matter with you? You think I want to die? Ha! If you think that then you don't know Victor Franko.
Major John Reisman: [Kinder has just finished a psychiatric evaluation of Reisman's troops] So what does that give you? Capt. Stuart Kinder: Doesn't give me anything. But along with these other results, it gives *you* just about the most twisted, ant...
Major John Reisman: Any questions? Maggot: Suh? Do we have to eat with niggahs? [Jefferson jumps Maggot] Sergeant Clyde Bowren: [as Reisman exits the room] : What's going on, sir? Major John Reisman: Oh, the gentleman from the South had a question ab...
Pinkley: [impersonating a General] Where are you from, son? Soldier: Madison City, Missouri, sir! Pinkley: Never heard of it.
Major John Reisman: You've seen a general inspecting troops before haven't you? Just walk slow, act dumb and look stupid!
Major John Reisman: Which one of you guys wants to be a general? [to Pinkley] Major John Reisman: Pinkley? Pinkley: What kind of general, sir? Major John Reisman: Just a plain, ordinary, every day, home-lovin' American general. Pinkley: I'd rather be...
Major John Reisman: I never went in for embroidery, just results.
Pinkley: [impersonating a general] Very pretty, Colonel, Very pretty, But, can they fight?
Major John Reisman: [briefing the dozen] And kill any officer in sight. Victor R. Franko: Ours or theirs?
Joseph T. Wladislaw: I wish I could read this. I think it's dirty.
Major John Reisman: And where is Donald Duck? Samson Posey: Donald Duck's down at the crossroads with a machine gun. Major John Reisman: He'd better not be asleep or we all be in trouble, huh!
Soldier: 1. Down to the road block, we've just begun 2. The guards are through 3. The Major's men are on a spree 4. Major and Wladislaw go through the door 5. Pinkley stays out in the drive 6. The Major gives the rope a fix 7. Wladislaw throws the ho...
Major John Reisman: How come you speak German? Joseph T. Wladislaw: My old man came from Silesia. He didn't speak German, he didn't dig coal. If he didn't dig coal, he didn't eat.
Capt. Stuart Kinder: [while the dozen are cavorting with the prostitutes in the guards' barracks] I wonder if any of them even know it's Mother's Day. Major John Reisman: [glances at Kinder and pauses briefly] is it?
Major John Reisman: What do you think, Sergeant? Sergeant Clyde Bowren: I think you'll do just fine, sir. Major John Reisman: [emphatically] Don't give me that! I said what do you think? Sergeant Clyde Bowren: I think the first chance one of those lo...
Major John Reisman: Boy, do I love that Franko.
