Sir Bernard Pellegrin: Do you no good to go poking around under rocks, Justin. Some very nasty things live under rocks, especially in foreign gardens.
Arthur "Ham" Hammond: So who has got away with murder? Not, of course, the British government. They merely covered up, as one does, the offensive corpses. Though not literally. That was done by person or persons unknown. So who has committed murder? ...
Justin Quayle: Arnold Bluhm is gay, Bernard. Gay men don't rape their women friends. Sir Bernard Pellegrin: [bemused] Well, I've known one or two very savage queens in my time.
Tessa Quayle: I thought you spies knew everything. Tim Donohue: Only God knows everything. He works for Mossad.
Lorbeer: I only give the food to the women, Mr. Black. Women make the homes, men just make wars... and hooch. Adam was God's first draft - He got it right with Eve. Tell that to your readers, Mr. Black.
[Aid workers are being airlifted from a village ahead of band of raiders. Justin brings aboard a local village girl] Jonah Andika: I'm sorry, I can't take the girl. Justin Quayle: I'm not leaving her! Jonah Andika: We're only allowed evacuate aid wor...
Tessa Quayle: It's an outrageous thing. It's almost if it's -it's a marriage of convenience- and the only thing it's going to produce is dead offspring.
Tim Donohue: I can get you out of Kenya. it's one of the few things we still do well. Drop it now, and it's over. I'll make sure word gets to the right people. Go home... and live Justin Quayle: But I don't have a home, Tim. Tessa was my home.
Justin Quayle: [Tessa tells Justin to slow down, wanting to drive a woman, her baby, and her brother who are walking 40 kilometers back to his home] We can't involve ourselves in their lives, Tessa. Tessa Quayle: Why. Justin Quayle: Be reasonable. Th...
Tessa Quayle: Sorry, I've just got one question: Whose map is Britain using when it completely ignores the United Nations and decides to invade Iraq? Tessa Quayle: Or do you think it's more diplomatic to bend the will of a superpower and politely tak...
Policeman No. 1: For a diplomat you're not a very good liar. Justin Quayle: I haven't risen very high. Sir Kenneth "Kenny" Curtiss: You're what passes for James Bond around here. Get Her Majesty's secret service to pull a few things. It's what you sp...
Lorbeer: Big pharmaceuticals are right up there with the arms dealers.
Justin Quayle: Well, ah, I can't speak for Sir Bernard... Tessa Quayle: Oh, I thought that was why you were here? [lecture audience laughs] Justin Quayle: Well, diplomats have to go where they're sent. Tessa Quayle: So do labradors. Justin Quayle: [S...
[first lines] Justin Quayle: Oh, thank you Arnold. I... I can manage that. But I still don't see why you couldn't wait a couple of weeks. Why go all the way up to Loki? Tessa Quayle: Well, we want to hear Grace Makanga speak, and she won't be coming ...
Birgit: [on drug trials] Put $50,000 in the right hands and you can test battery acid as skin lotion.
[last lines] Justin Quayle: [whispering] Tessa...
Justin Quayle: Your life is your own. That was always our agreement. Tessa Quayle: No, no, no. The agreement was, that my *work* was going to be my own. That's what makes me who I am.
Tim Donohue: [after a car chase through the desert] Who did you think I was? Justin Quayle: Fuck you, Donohue! This is bandit country.
