Captain of Louisa: By the authority vested in me by Kaiser William II, I pronounce you man and wife - Proceed with the execution.
Charlie: We can't do that! Rose: How do you know? You never tried it. Charlie: Well, yeah, but I never tried shooting myself in the head neither.
Charlie Allnut: What are you being so mean for, Miss? A man takes a drop too much once in a while, it's only human nature. Rose Sayer: Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.
Charlie Allnut: Well I ain't sorry for you no more, ya crazy, psalm-singing, skinny old maid!
Rose: Dear?... Dear?... What is your first name?
Charlie Allnut: You know why did the chicken cross the road. Rose Sayer: [missing the joke] I beg your pardon. Charlie Allnut: Nevermind, miss.
Captain of Louisa: [Annoyed with Charlie and Rosie] I think I shall have to hang you twice.
Charlie Allnut: One thing in the world I hate: leeches. Filthy little devils.
Charlie Allnut: There ain't nothing so complicated as the inside of a torpedo.
Charlie Allnut: Never say die. That's my motto.
Charlie Allnut: Nobody in Africa, but yours truly, can get a good head of steam on the old African Queen.
Captain of Louisa: By the authority granted to me by his Imperial Majestey Kaiser Wilhelm the Second I pronounce you man and wife - proceed with the execution.
Charlie Allnut: I don't know why the Germans would want this God-forsaken place. Rose Sayer: God has not forsaken this place, Mr. Allnut, as my brother's presence here bears witness.
Charlie Allnut: How'd you like it? Rose Sayer: Like it? Charlie Allnut: White water rapids! Rose Sayer: I never dreamed... Charlie Allnut: I don't blame you for being scared - not one bit. Nobody with good sense ain't scared of white water... Rose Sa...
Charlie Allnut: [skitting Rose] Can you make a torpedo? Well do so Mr. Allnut.
Charlie: All this fool talk about The Louisa. Goin' down the river... Rose: What do you mean? Charlie: I mean we ain't goin' to do nothin' of the sort. Rose: Why, of course we're going! What an absurd idea! Charlie: What an absurd idea! What an absur...
Charlie Allnut: [his stomach is growling] Ain't a thing I can do about it.
