Evan: [as Becca forcefully takes off his clothes] Just be careful, because it's a meaningful sweater to me, it's vintage.
Scarlett Brighton: Kick his ass, Mark! Mark: Shut the FUCK up, Scarlett.
Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you we're smoking cigarettes with those cops. Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?
Francis the Driver: So, you guys on MySpace?
Seth: They should be suckin' on my ball sack.
Seth: This plan's been fucked since Jump Street.
Period Blood Girl: [on phone to police] Yeah, send someone, hurry. [Hangs Up] Period Blood Girl: [to Mark] Mark! I called the cops you should hide your gun.
Officer Slater: So you name is just McLovin? Fogell: Yeah! Officer Slater: Badass!
Officer Michaels: [Vomiting after chasing Eva] It's just beer! It's just beer! Officer Slater: C'mon man up. What happened? Officer Michaels: [Without breath] He's a freakin' kid! He's the fastest kid alive! Officer Slater: This is not good! Officer ...
Francis the Driver: Because I'll do anything. Like, literally, *fucking* anything! Name it. Name it!
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site. Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern. Evan: Right, I didn't realize that. Seth: Besides,...
Officer Michaels: I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!
Officer Slater: I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...
[from trailer] Officer Michaels: McLovin? Fogell: Yeah. Officer Michaels: Great name. Officer Slater: It is, it just rolls of the tongue. Officer Michaels: 'Sounds like a sexy hamburger!
Officer Michaels: You just cock-blocked McLovin!
Seth: Alright, let's stop this and just go get some dessert. Evan: No, I can't. I gotta... go meet my counselor, I'm picking out my classes for next year. Seth: ...what? So I gotta sit here and eat my dessert alone like I'm fuckin' Steven Glansberg? ...
Liquor Store Clerk: Is there a problem here, sir? Fogell: [shakes head] No. Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the spilled beer on the floor] Sir, did you do this? Fogell: No, no I didn't and you should really clean this up, someone could really hurt...
[first lines] Evan: Yo. Seth: Hey, man, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-Tastic Voyage.
