[repeated line] Seth: What the fuck?
Seth: I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag.
Becca: I am gonna give you the best blow J ever... with my mouth.
Seth: Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!
Evan: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, It was so pimp, I even offered to pay for the alcohol. Seth: Oh no, that IS pimp. Evan: That's what I was afraid of.
Seth: He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.
Officer Michaels: We shouldn't be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock.
Officer Michaels: Shit! The cops!
Officer Slater: [Arresting Evan and Seth] Pretend he's your little sister, your little sister, with the picha baga daga dicta!
Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical. Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move. [they run]
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery. Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift. Evan: She had back problems, man.
Becca: [drunkenly making out with Evan] I *so* flirt with you in math. Evan: Tell me about it. I - same-sies.
Evan: [to Miroki] Good shit, right Miroki?
Seth: [looks at the line to the bathroom] What is this, a line? Shirley: Uh, yeah, whats it look like? [laughs with her friends] Seth: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, fuck me, right?
Homeless Guy: Hey, hey! It's you, McMuffin!
Fogell: [after realizing Seth's car was towed] Why did you park in the staff lot? Seth: [mumbles] Shut the fuck up, Fogell. Fogell: I mean, you're not staff. Seth: I know that Fagell! I KNOW that!
Mark: What the hell is this? Seth: I don't fucking - it's detergent! Mark: Yeah, what are you doing with it? Seth: ...I got fucking blood on my pants.
Becca: [when Evan doesn't want to have sex with her because she's drunk] I don't understand why you have to be such a little bitch about it.
