Voice of the stars: [to Tristan as he's sleeping, causing him to see it] Tristan. Tristan. Yvaine is in grave danger. A unicorn came to help her, but now they're heading into a trap. No star is safe in Stormhold. The last one fell 400 years ago and w...
[a girl gives a cup to Tristan as he is stabling Primus's horses] Tristan: Thank you. That's so kind. My name's Tristan. What's yours? Girl Bernard: [in his own voice] Bernard.
[outside the witches' castle] Septimus: [as he holds a sword to Tristan's throat] Who are you? What business do you have here? Tristan: [he sees the number 7 mark on Septimus' hand] Septimus... I knew your brother, Primus. Septimus: Unless you wish t...
Captain Shakespeare: And, Yvaine, I have some lovely dresses; take your pick. Yvaine: [surprised] I'm fine. Captain Shakespeare: [quietly] Honey... you're wearing a bathrobe.
Lamia: You'd better be telling the truth, you two-faced dog. Ferdy the Fence: I can get you one of them, actually. Very good guard dogs. They can watch the back and the front door at the same time.
Mormo: There is someone following your tracks. Lamia: A Witch? A Warlock? Mormo: A Prince and he's catching you up. Get a move on.
Guard: [at the wall] I'm charged with guarding the portal to another world, and you're asking me to just let you through! Young Dunstan Thorn: Yes. Because, let's be honest, it's a field. Look, [the guard points to the field at the other side of the ...
[the guard knocks at Dunstan's door. Dunstan opens it] Guard: This was left at the wall for you. [the guard gives to Dunstan a basket which contains a baby] Guard: Says here his name is Tristan.
Yvaine: [to Captain Shakespeare] I can't believe your crew fell for that. And where in God's name did you get that mannequin?
[Tristan is dazed just after returning to human form] Tristan: Victoria! Yvaine: I think I preferred "Mother".
[to Ditchwater Sal after she has turned Tristan into a mouse] Yvaine: Would I be correct in thinking that you can neither see nor hear me? Then I'd like to tell you that you smell of pee. You look like the wrong end of a dog. And I swear, if I don't ...
Tristan: Don't you ever sleep? Yvaine: Not at night. May have escaped your notice, genius, but that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing. Tristan: Yeah, well, it may have escaped yours, but...
[Secundus has just been murdered and has become a ghost, joining his other dead brothers] Secundus: [trying to laugh off his brothers' frosty stares] Oh, please, you're not annoyed at that whole murder thing, are you? I mean, that was ten years ago. ...
[deleted scene] Tristan: [while he and Victoria are drinking champagne] You know... an interesting fact, actually - the first champagne glass was molded on the left breast of Marie Antoinette. [Victoria stares at him, disgusted] Tristan: I don't know...
Primus: [pointing at his penis] They say it's the biggest in all the kingdom.
King: Only he of royal blood can restore the ruby. And the one of you who does so, shall be the new king of Stormhold.
[Tristan is on the ground and Primus has his sword at his throat] Primus: If Septimus insists on sending a boy to do a man's job... Tristan: No! Please, I don't know Septimus. I just need a lift. Look at me, I'm unarmed. Please. Please, let me ride w...
Primus: [speaking of his father] There was not a horse or beast he could not master. So much so that in his youth, he took to riding a camel... which was comical.
