Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying 5 elephants in one hand. Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no w...
The Writer: The kid wasn't sick. The kid wasn't sleeping. The kid was dead.
Teddy: I'm sorry if I'm spoiling everybody's good time. Chris: It's okay, man. Gordie: I'm not sure it should be a good time. Chris: You saying you wanna go back? Gordie: No. We're going to see a dead kid... maybe it shouldn't be a party.
[Chris drags Gordie behind the building to show him his gun] Gordie: Walking talking Jesus!
Chris: You wanna be the Lone Ranger, or the Cisco Kid?
Bob Cormier: Hey! From the racks and stacks, it's the best on wax! How 'bout another double-golden-oldie-twin-spin-sound-sandwich from K-L-A-M in Portland? Iiiiiiit's... Pie-Eat Audience: [finishing sentence] Boss!
Chris: [while playing gin rummy] I knock. Teddy: What? You liar! You ain't got no pat hand. You didn't deal yourself no pat hand! Chris: Make your draw, shit-heap!
Ace: You got two choices. You leave quietly, we take the body. Or, you can stay, we beat the shit out of you, we take the body.
Ace: We're gonna get you for this. Chris: Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Ace: Oh, we will.
Teddy: [crying] He ranked my old man!
Mayor Grundy: Next, a newcomer to the Pie Eat, but one we expect great things from in the future. Young master David Hogan! Bill Travis: [Trips Lardass, who falls and hits his large belly on the stage] Are you all right, young man? Lardass Heckler #1...
Gordie: Piss up a rope!
Charlie Hogan: [Charlie and Billy are discussing the discovery of Ray Brower's body] I still think we should call the cops. Billy Tessio: You don't go squawkin' to the cops when ya boosted a car, you idiot. They're gonna wanna know how we got all the...
Gordie: Well, all the kids, instead of calling him Davie, they call him Lardass. Lardass Hogan. Even his little brother and sister calls him Lardass. At school, they put a sticker on his back that says "Wide-Load". And they rank him out and beat him ...
