Oberst Von Scherbach: I'm grateful for a little company. I suffer from insomia. Lt. James Skylar Dunbar: Did you ever try 40 sleeping pills?
Oberst Von Scherbach: Curtains would do wonders for this barracks. You will not get them.
Sgt. Schulz: [amused] You Americans are so *crazy*! That's why I like you!
[Shapiro received 7 letters at mail call] Animal: What do all those broads say? Shapiro: What do they always say? Animal: Lemme read one. Shapiro: It's not good for you, Animal. Animal: Hey, this is with a typewriter... it's from a finance company. S...
[the new arrival does impressions of movie stars] Animal: Hey... do Grable. Bagradian: Now see here, Scarlett... I'm crazy about you and always have been. I gave you kisses for breakfast, kisses for lunch, and kisses for supper... and now I find that...
Sefton: The Germans know where Dunbar is. Hoffy: How do they know? Sefton: You told them, Hoffy. Hoffy: Who did? Sefton: You did. Hoffy: Are you off your rocker? Sefton: Uh-huh. Fell right on my head.
Marko the Mailman: Remember, just because the krauts are dumb doesn't mean that they're stupid.
Marko the Mailman: Are the doors covered? [the men cover the doors] Hoffy: Yeah, they're covered. Marko the Mailman: Okay, Steve, give them the radio. [Blondie pulls a radio and earphones from under Steve's pant leg] Marko the Mailman: You can keep i...
Oberst Von Scherbach: Nobody has ever escaped from Stalag 17. Not alive, anyway.
Price: Must you two always be last? Animal: Oh, yeah? You try jumping in those trenches first. Everybody jumps in on top of you. Shapiro: How do you think I got my hernia? [coughs]
Sgt. Schulz: [preparing POWs for an important inspection] The barracks should be schpic, and also schpan!
Geneva man: [a Red Cross official is inspecting the camp just after Sefton was beaten on suspicion being an enemy informant. The official sees his injuries] What happened to you? Were you beaten? [Sefton doesn't answer] Geneva man: Why don't you answ...
Shapiro: Tea is being served on the veranda. Animal, where are the napkins? [Animal puts down some napkins as Dunbar and Bagradian approach the table] Bagradian: [Imitating Ronald Colman talking to his real-life wife, Benita Hume] Do be seated, Benit...
Oberst Von Scherbach: All right then, gentlemen, we are all friends again. And with Christmas coming on I have a special treat for you. I'll have you all deloused for the holidays and I'll have a little Christmas tree for every barrack. You will like...
Sefton: [questioning Price] When was Pearl Harbor, Price, or don't you know that? Price: December 7th, '41. Sefton: What time? Price: [smugly] 6:00. I was having dinner. Sefton: [smirks] 6:00 in Berlin. [to the other barrack members] Sefton: They wer...
Sefton: Okay, Herr Preisshoffer, let's have the mailbox. Price: The what? Sefton: The one you took out of the corner of your bunk and put in this pocket! [pulls a black queen out of Price's jacket] Sefton: Let me show you how they did it. They did it...
Sefton: I told you boys I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy. Hoffy: What's the decoy? Sefton: Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes - exactly five minutes - to get Dunbar out of that ...
