[last lines] Jerry: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all. Osgood: Why not? Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde. Osgood: Doesn't matter. Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time! Osgood: I do...
Jerry: Have I got things to tell you! Joe: What happened? Jerry: I'm engaged. Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl? Jerry: I am!
Junior: Syncopators. Does that mean you play that very fast music... jazz? Sugar: Yeah. Real Hot. Junior: I guess some like it hot. I personally prefer classical music.
Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the third. Daphne: I'm Cinderella the second.
[at the booking office, trying to be hired] Joe: What kind of a band is this, anyway? Sig Poliakoff: You gotta be under twenty-five. Jerry: We could pass for that. Sig Poliakoff: You gotta be blonde. Jerry: We could dye our hair. Sig Poliakoff: And y...
Joe: [trying to get Jerry to face reality regarding his engagement to Osgood] Jerry, Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy. Jerry: I'm a boy. Joe: That's the boy....
Osgood: [referring to his mother] Right now, she thinks I'm out there on my yacht - deep sea fishing! Daphne: Well, pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, you're barking up the wrong fish!
Joe - 'Josephine': [grabbing Daphne by the collar] Daphne? Daphne: Well, I never did like the name Geraldine.
Joe: There's another problem. Jerry: Like what? Joe: Like, what are you gonna do on your honeymoon? Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I kinda lean towards Niagara Falls.
Sig Poliakoff: You're the wrong shape. Goodbye! Joe: What are you looking for - hunchbacks or something? Sig Poliakoff: It's not the backs that worry me.
Sugar: If my mother could only see me now. Joe: I hope *my* mother never finds out.
Osgood: You must be quite a girl. Daphne: Wanna bet?
Mulligan: What happened here? Little Bonaparte: [referring to Spats and his thugs] There was something in that cake that didn't agree with them. Mulligan: My compliments to the chef. Nobody leaves this room until I get the recipe. Little Bonaparte: Y...
Sugar: [on marrying well] I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste.
Jerry: Will you look at that! Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell you, it's a whole different sex!
Joe: But, you're *not* a girl! You're a *guy*, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy? Jerry: Security!
Sugar: Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous? Junior: I'll say. I had two ponies drowned under me.
Joe: What are you worried about? This job is going to last a long time. Jerry: Well, suppose it doesn't? Joe: Jerry, boy, why do you have to paint everything so black? Suppose you got hit by a truck. Suppose the stock market crashes. Suppose Mary Pic...