[after filming a love scene] Lina: Oh Donny! You couldn't kiss me like that and not mean it just a teensy bit! Don Lockwood: Meet the greatest actor in the world! I'd rather kiss a tarantula. Lina: You don't mean that. Don Lockwood: I don't - - Hey J...
Lina Lamont: Gee, this wig weighs a ton! What dope'd wear a thing like this? Rosco: Everybody used to wear them, Lina. Lina Lamont: Well, then everybody was a dope.
Cosmo Brown: Lina. She can't act, she can't sing, she can't dance. A triple threat.
Don Lockwood: Cosmo, call me a cab. Cosmo Brown: OK, you're a cab.
Lina: What's wrong with the way I talk? What's the big idea? Am I dumb or something?
Kathy: [picks up a cake] Here's one thing I learned from the movies! [Throws it at Don but hits Lina]
Cosmo Brown: Talking pictures, that means I'm out of a job. At last I can start suffering and write that symphony. R.F. Simpson: You're not out of job, we're putting you in as head of our new music department. Cosmo Brown: Oh, thanks, R.F.! At last I...
Cosmo Brown: Make 'em laugh!
Kathy Selden: Now look, Miss Lamont, Don and I... Lina Lamont: Don? Don't you *dare* call him Don! I was calling him Don before you were born! I mean... You-you were kissing him! Don Lockwood: *I* was kissing *her*! I happen to be in love with her. L...
Cosmo Brown: Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all.
Lina Lamont: "People"? I ain't "people." I am a - "a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament." [picks up newspaper] Lina Lamont: It says so - right here.
Don Lockwood: Now Lina, you've been reading all those fan magazines again! Now look Lina, you shouldn't believe all that banana oil Dora Bailey and the columnists dish out. Now try to get this straight: there is nothing between us. There has never be...
Rod: Lina, you're a beautiful woman. Audiences think you've got a voice to match. The studio's gotta keep their stars from looking ridiculous at any cost. Cosmo Brown: Nobody's got that much money.
Diction Coach: Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Don Lockwood: [while filming a love scene] Why, you rattlesnake! You got that poor kid fired. Lina Lamont: That's not all I'm gonna do if I ever get my hands on her. Don Lockwood: I never heard of anything so low. Why did you do it? Lina Lamont: Beca...
Cosmo Brown: Why bother to shoot this film? Why not release the old one under a new title? You've seen one, you've seen them all. Don Lockwood: Hey, what'd you say that for? Cosmo Brown: What's the matter? Don Lockwood: That's what that Kathy Selden ...
Don Lockwood: I'm no actor. I never was. Just a bunch of dumb show. I know that now. Cosmo Brown: Well, at least you're taking it lying down. Don Lockwood: No. No kidding, Cosmo. Did you ever see anything as ridiculous as me on that screen tonight? K...
Lina Lamont: What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than - than - than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!
