Sherlock Holmes: Uh, hmm... Right. Where are the wagons? Madam Simza Heron: The wagon is too slow. Can't you ride? Dr. John Watson: It's not that he can't ride... How is it you put it, Holmes? Sherlock Holmes: They're dangerous at both ends and... cr...
[after Holmes throws Mary off the train, Watson turns around and sees his wife gone] Sherlock Holmes: It had to be done. She's safe now! In my own defense, I timed it perfectly-! [Watson lunges at him and starts throttling him] Dr. John Watson: Did y...
Madam Simza Heron: What do you see? Sherlock Holmes: Everything. That is my curse.
Professor Moriaty: You see, hidden within the unconscious, there is an insatiable desire for conflict. So, you're not fighting me, so much as you are the human condition. All I want to do is own the bullets and the bandages.
Dr. John Watson: [reading a note from Holmes] Come at once if convenient. [flips the note over to back side] Dr. John Watson: If inconvenient, come all the same.
Sherlock Holmes: [after they finish a short waltz] Who taught you to dance like that? Dr. John Watson: [with a smile of reminiscence] You did.
Dr. John Watson: [performing CPR] I know you can hear me, you selfish bastard!
Mycroft Holmes: Good evening, Mrs Watson. I'm the other Holmes. Mary Watson: You mean there's *two* of you? How marvelous! Could this evening get any better?
Sherlock Holmes: Madam, this is a glorious hedgehog goulash. I can't remember ever having had better. Dr. John Watson: Do tell me, when was the last time you had a hedgehog goulash? Sherlock Holmes: I told you, Watson, I can't remember. Dr. John Wats...
Mycroft Holmes: Where are you *going*, Stanley?
Dr. John Watson: Oh, how I've missed you, Holmes. Sherlock Holmes: Have you? Why? I've barely noticed your absence.
Sherlock Holmes: [lights pipe] Dr. John Watson: What are we doing down here? Sherlock Holmes: *We* are waiting. *I* am smoking.
Dr. John Watson: How did you know I would find you? Sherlock Holmes: You didn't find me. You collapsed a building on me.
[Holmes has arrived at the auction and is trying to defuse the motion-sensitive bomb intended for Dr. Hoffmanstahl] Sherlock Holmes: One million pounds! Oh, and by the way, fire.
[Holmes detects that an assassin is hiding on the ceiling and preparing to kill Simza; he compares taking the man out to preparing an omelet] Sherlock Holmes: [voice-over] First, pillage the nest. Clip wings. Now, blunt his beak. Crack eggs. Scramble...
Sherlock Holmes: Dear, dear, sickly sweet Nanny. Might I have a word? [He uncovers the tray in her hands, revealing white rats under glass] Sherlock Holmes: Yummy. Feed the snake, woman. Mrs. Hudson: You feed it! Sherlock Holmes: Touchy, touchy.
[from trailer] Dr. John Watson: [seeing Holmes's drag outfit] What? Sherlock Holmes: I agree it's not my best disguise.
Dr. John Watson: [as he watches Sherlock drinking embalming fluid] You're drinking embalming fluid? Sherlock Holmes: [exhales] Yes. Care for a drop? Dr. John Watson: You do seem... Sherlock Holmes: Excited? Dr. John Watson: Manic. Sherlock Holmes: I ...
