Vinny Gambini: [opening statements] Uh... everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you. D.A. Jim Trotter: Objection. Counsel's entire opening statement is argumentative. Judge Chamberlain Haller: Sustained. Counselor's entire opening statem...
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, you're supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiles, is that correct?... Is that correct? [she folds her arms and turns her back on him] Judge Chamberlain Haller: Would you please answer the counselor's question? Mona Lisa...
Vinny Gambini: I object to this witness being called at this time. We've been given no prior notice he'd testify. No discovery of any tests he's conducted or reports he's prepared. And as the court is aware, the defense is entitled to advance notice ...
Mona Lisa Vito: [Vinny looks at her funny] What? Vinny Gambini: Nothing. You stick out like a sore thumb around here. Mona Lisa Vito: Me? What about you? Vinny Gambini: I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots. Mona Lisa Vito: Oh y...
Vinny Gambini: It is possible that the two yutes... Judge Chamberlain Haller: ...Ah, the two what? Uh... uh, what was that word? Vinny Gambini: Uh... what word? Judge Chamberlain Haller: Two what? Vinny Gambini: What? Judge Chamberlain Haller: Uh... ...
Vinny Gambini: [Vinny is the lawyer, but Stan thinks he is there to sodomize him] Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' fucked one way or the other. [Stan tries to get up] Vinny Gambini: Hey, relax, I'm gonna help you. Stan: Gee thanks. Vinny ...
Bill: We think they're trying to set us up as patsies, Ma. You know how corrupt it is down here. They all know each other. Stan: The Klan's here. They're inbred. They sleep with their sisters. [a deputy glares at him] Stan: Some of them do.
[repeated line] Vinny Gambini: What the fuck is that?
Vincent Gambini: Okay, you're helping. We'll use your pictures. Ah! These *are* gonna be - you know, I'm sorry, these are going to be a help. I should have looked at these pictures before. I like this, uh, this is our first hotel room, right? That'll...
Bill: You have to see the Gambinis in action. I mean, these people, they love to argue. I mean, they live to argue. Stan: My parents argue too, it doesn't make them good lawyers. Bill: Stan, I've seen your parents argue. Trust me, they're amateurs.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I don't like your attitude. Vinny Gambini: So what else is new? Judge Chamberlain Haller: I'm holding you in contempt of court. Vinny Gambini: [to Bill] Now there's a fucking surprise. Judge Chamberlain Haller: What did you ...
Bill: At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the groom's brother was that guy Alakazam. You know who I'm talking about? Stan: The magician with the ponytail? Bill: Right. Well, he did his act, and every time he made something disappear, Vinny jumped on him. ...
Mona Lisa Vito: Don't you wanna know why Trotter gave you his files? Vinny Gambini: I told you why already. Mona Lisa Vito: He has to, by law, you're entitled. It's called disclosure, you dickhead! He has to show you everything, otherwise it could be...
Mona Lisa Vito: What name did you tell him? Vinny Gambini: Jerry Gallo. Mona Lisa Vito: Jerry Gallo! The big attorney. Vinny Gambini: Yeah. Mona Lisa Vito: Think that was a smart move? Vinny Gambini: Yeah, well, the man's a seriously accomplished law...
Stan: The laws are medieval down here. Do you know what the minimum age for execution is in Alabama? Bill: What, sixteen? Stan: Ten!
Vinny Gambini: [about his secondhand suit, which has an 18th-century look and is red] I bought a suit. You seen it. Now it's covered in mud. This town doesn't have a one hour cleaner so I had to buy a new suit, except the only store you could buy a n...
Stan: Why didn't you ask them any questions? Vinny Gambini: Huh? Ask who questions? Bill: The witnesses! You know you could have asked questions, didn't you, Vin? Stan: Damn it, Vinnie! Maybe if you'd put up some kind of a fight, you could have gotte...
Vinny Gambini: Mr. Tipton. When you viewed the defendants walking from their car into the Sac-o-Suds, what angle was your point of view? Mr. Tipton: They was kinda walking toward me when they entered the store. Vinny Gambini: And when they left, what...
