[King Arthur has just cut the Black Knight's last leg off] Black Knight: All right, we'll call it a draw. King Arthur: [Preparing to leave] Come, Patsy. [King Arthur and Patsy ride off] Black Knight: [calling after King Arthur] Oh, oh, I see! Running...
King Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. French Soldier: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he wil...
Sir Lancelot: Look, my liege! [trumpets play a fanfare as the camera cuts briefly to the sight of a majestic castle] King Arthur: [in awe] Camelot! Sir Galahad: [in awe] Camelot! Sir Lancelot: [in awe] Camelot! Patsy: [derisively] It's only a model! ...
King of Swamp Castle: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.
The Witch: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch! Sir Bedevere: But you are dressed as one! The Witch: *They* dressed me up like this! Crowd: We didn't! We didn't... The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one. Sir Bedevere: [lifts up her false no...
Knights of Camelot: [singing] We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We're knights of the Round Ta...
King Arthur: Old woman! Dennis: Man. King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? Dennis: I'm 37. King Arthur: What? Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old. King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man". Dennis: Well you could say "Denn...
King Arthur: Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder? Tim: There are some who call me... Tim.
King of Swamp Castle: We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get. Prince Herbert: But I don't like her. King of Swamp Castle: Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land.
Tim: Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If...
God: Arthur, King of the Britons, your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times. King Arthur: Good idea, O Lord! God: 'Course it's a good idea!
Knight 1: ...You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... WITH... A HERRING!
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to? French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Narrator: A year passed: winter changed into spring, spring changed into summer, summer changed back into winter, and winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn... until one day...
[repeated line] King Arthur: Run away!
King Arthur: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done. [the Knights of Ni scream and cover their ears] Knight 1: Don't say that word! King Arthur: What word? Knight 1: I cannot tell! Suffice to say, is one of the words the Knights of Ni canno...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right? King Arthur: I'm not interested! Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: It could be carried by an African swallow. King Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot? 1st soldier ...
[the cartoon Knights are being chased by the animated Beast of Aaaaauuuugggggghhh] Narrator: And as the Black Beast lurched forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack! [cut to...
