Ratso Rizzo: I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food? Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back. Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it...
Ratso Rizzo: You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo. Joe Buck: Well, I can't say all that. Ratso Rizzo: Rico, then.
Joe Buck: Uh, well, sir, I ain't a f'real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud!
Joe Buck: I only get carsick on boats.
Joe Buck: I like the way I look. Makes me feel good, it does. And women like me, goddammit. Hell, the only one thing I ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me, that's a really true fact! Ratso, hell! Crazy Annie they had to send her away!...
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself. [Joe Buck laughs] Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here! Joe Buck: It's just - ...
Joe Buck: I'm brand, spankin' new in this here town and I was hopin' to get a look at the Statue of Liberty. Cass: It's up in Central Park, taking a leak. If you hurry, you can catch the supper show.
Shirley: You fell. Hey fella, you fell.
Ratso Rizzo: Frankly, you're beginning to smell and for a stud in New York, that's a handicap.
Joe Buck: John Wayne! Are you tryin' to tell me he's a fag?
Cass: You were gonna ask me for money? Who the hell do you think you're dealing with, some old slut on 42nd Street? In case you didn't happen to notice it, ya big Texas longhorn bull, I'm one helluva gorgeous chick!
Sally Buck: You look real nice, lover boy, real nice. Make your old grandma proud. You're gonna be the best-looking cowboy in the whole parade.
Ratso Rizzo: Woman starts crying, I'd cut my heart out for her. Jackie - New York: [passing by] That's a great idea. In fact, you just sit tight and I'll cut it out with my fingernail file, Ratso. Ratso Rizzo: The name's Rizzo. Jackie - New York: Tha...
Jackie - New York: I just want to ask you one thing, cowboy. If you're sitting here, and he's sitting all the way over there, then how's he gonna get his hand into your pocket? Oh, but I guess he has that all figured out. 'Night, toots. [walks away] ...
Annie - Texas: You're the only one, Joe. You're the only one...
Joe Buck: [Rizzo polishes Joe's boots] Hey, you pretty damn good at that. I'll bet you could make a living at it if you tried. Ratso Rizzo: And end up a hunchback like my old man? You think I'm crippled, you should have caught him at the end of the d...
Cass: [Cass is on the phone while Joe Buck is foreplaying with her] Oh God... Nothing, I'm talking to Baby. I'm talking to the dog, Maury... please, you're annoying me! Here, why don't you say hello to Baby? [She puts the phone near her toy poodle's ...
