George Shapiro: Andy, you have to look inside and ask this question: who are you trying to entertain - the audience or yourself?
Andy Kaufman: You don't know the real me. Lynne Margulies: There isn't a real you. Andy Kaufman: Oh yeah, I forgot.
George Shapiro: You're insane, but you might also be brilliant.
Tony Clifton: So... ya wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels?
Tony Clifton: Can I use the bathroom? I may have shit my pants. Security Guard: Not on the lot. Tony Clifton: Drink of water? Security Guard: [shakes head] Tony Clifton: Aspirin? Security Guard: [shakes head] Tony Clifton: Moist Towelette? Security G...
Andy Kaufman: Since you've all been such good boys and girls, I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out for milk and cookies. There are buses outside. Everybody follow me.
Andy Kaufman: I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Kaufman, did you come here to wrestle or act like an ass?
Lynne Margulies: So, you just pretend to be an asshole. Andy Kaufman: It's what I'm good at.
Andy Kaufman: I am sick of this shit, Lawler. I am gonna sue you. I'm gonna sue you, I swear to God. Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler? Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave. I know I'm not supposed to use those words on television. I can't say those words. I'm sorry...
[At a meeting with the NBC executives] George Shapiro: Andy Kauffman is Tony Clifton. And Tony Clifton is Andy Kauffman. They'll deny it up and down, but believe me, it's true!
George Shapiro: Your material doesn't exactly transfer to film.
[first lines] Andy Kaufman: Hello. I am Andy and I would like to thank you for coming to my movie. I wish it was *better*, you know, but... it is so stupid! It's terrible! I do not even like it. All of the most important things in my life are changed...
