Perry: My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift. You threw in the lake next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find? Har...
Perry: We gotta move her somewhere. You got gloves? Harry: Excuse me? Perry: Gloves. Do you have gloves? You have to move her. If it's a frame-up, some asshole's probably calling the cops on you right now. Do this: wrap up the body in a blanket, a sh...
Perry: Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call. Harry: Bad. Perry: Excuse me? Harry: Sleep bad. Otherwise it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep... Perry: What, fuckhead? Who taught you grammar? Badly's an adverb. Get o...
Harry: Do you think I'm stupid? Perry: I don't think you'd know where to put food at, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid.
Harry: Well what I'm doing for the guy who likes to bluff is I'm playing a little game called "Am I Bluffing?" [Loads one round into the revolver to play Russian Roulette] Harry: Where is she? Where the fuck is Harmony? You want to play hardball? I c...
Perry: [to the audience] Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so ...
Harry: Yeah, boo, hiss, I know. Look, I hate it too. In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending so the guy shows up, he's magically alive on crutches, I hate that. I mean shit, why not bring them all back. [Everyone who has be...
Harry: Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times.
Harry: Still gay? Perry: Me? No. I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.
Harry: [after Perry removes a gun from his crotch after shooting their captor] Wow! I was glad you had a gun in there. For a second, I actually thought you could do that, like it was some big gay thing.
Harry: Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real? Perry: Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my faggot gun. Harry: Because... Perry: Because its only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, Chief.
Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal. Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.
Harmony: [naked in bed] You can sleep here if you want but it would only be sleeping, Harry... if thats gonna frustrate you. Harry: [pause] Let's see.
Harry: Look, you want to see something cool? [Harry pulls out a copy of a Gossamer book with a hole in it] Harmony: Oh cool! This stopped the bullet, Harry. [Harmony pokes her finger through the hole in the book. Harry taps his bullet wound] Harry: N...
Perry: Okay, you've got 30 of my fucking seconds. Thrill me.
Harry: [voiceover] I sent Harmony home believing A, we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case, and B, I'm not actually gay. Please do not ask me how I did B.
Harry: Is she a looker? Perry: She opens the door, and she got nothing on but the radio. Yeah, invites me to sit down, sits on my lap, fires up a spliff. Harry: Geez. Really? Perry: No. Idiot.
Perry: He called her a... well, a bad word. [pause] Perry: Cunt.
