Kingsman: The Secret Service Quotes

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Harry Hart: [from trailer] Sorry about that, needed to let off a little steam.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Lancelot: I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Harry Hart: [From trailer] If you're prepared to adapt, you can transform.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Big Goon: This whiskey is amazing; you will shit.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Valentine: [From trailer] Mankind is the virus, and I'm the cure.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Valentine: [from trailer] If you get blood on the carpet you're going to have to take the carpet up!

Kingsman: The Secret Service

[Pretending that Merlin is his servant at Valentine's party] Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Mycroft, you've just been promoted from my pilot to my valet.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Valentine: You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escap...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

[Eggsy calls the number on the back of his medallion] Operator: Customer complaints. How may I help you? Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Um, my name's Eggsy Unwin. Sorry, um, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek; I'm in an urban police station and my mom said to ca...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

[Lee Unwin prevents a captive terrorist from killing his comrades with a suicide bomb by jumping over him before the explosion. Hart removes his mask] Harry Hart: Shit. Fucking missed it. How did I fucking miss it? Merlin. [Merlin removes his mask] H...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

[Eggsy leaves the police station] Harry Hart: Eggsy. Would you like a lift home? Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Who are you? Harry Hart: The man who got you released. Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: That ain't an answer. Harry Hart: A little gratitude would be nice. My nam...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Merlin: Hugo, Digby, you don't land in the K, you're not in the K. Rufus, you opened too soon. You're all over the radar. All three of you, pack your bags. Go home. [the three candidates leave] Merlin: Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. You set a new reco...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Valentine: Is he dead? Gazelle: That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Harry Hart: Huge IQ. Great performance in the marines, but ya gave up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Merlin: Congratulations on completing your first task. Charlie, Roxy, well done. For those of you who are still confused, if you can get a breathing tube through the U-bend of a toilet, you have an unlimited air supply. Simple physics... worth rememb...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Arthur: It's all yours. And don't forget your membership proposal. Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. Harry Hart: Seventeen years and still evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. You don't remind me that I w...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

[Valentine receives a notice that Professor Arnold has been terminated] Valentine: Fuck that guy, whoever he is! I'm gonna... He made me kill Professor Arnold. Goddamn loved Professor Arnold. Gazelle: Well the good news is we know the emergency surve...

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Valentine: We each spend, on average, $2,000 a year on cell phone and Internet usage. It gives me great pleasure to announce, those days are over. As of tomorrow, every man, woman, and child can claim a free SIM card that's compatible with any cell p...

Kingsman: The Secret Service