Todd: What do you think, Katie? Katie Deauxma: I don't know. But I think Kick-Ass is cuter. Dave Lizewski: You do? Katie Deauxma: Oh yeah. I'd totally fuck his brains out if I got the chance. Dave Lizewski: Really? You would? Katie Deauxma: Definitel...
Leroy: [to Kick-Ass] Who the fuck are you supposed to be? The green condom? You know it ain't Halloween for another few months, kid?
Dave Lizewski: Even with my metal plates and my fucked up nerve endings, I gotta tell you, that hurt! But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind. Katie, my dad, Todd and Marty... and all the things I'd never do. Like learn to drive...
Sergeant Marcus Williams: You owe that girl a childhood. Damon Macready: I'll tell you who owes her a childhood, FRANK D'AMICO!
Dave Lizewski: [introducing himself] Dave. Dave Lizewski. Hit Girl: [laughs] I know that, dumbass!
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, that's right! We're superheroes! You love us!
Dave Lizewski: Jesus, guys, doesn't it bug you? Like thousand of people wanna be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spiderman. Marty: Yeah, what's with that? She has like no tits at all. Todd: Maybe it's the porn tape, he doesn't have a porn tape. M...
Big Daddy: Go to Robiiiin's Reveeeeeeeenge!
Dave Lizewski: What's the difference between Spider-Man and Peter Parker? Spider-Man gets the girl.
Frank D'Amico: Playtime's over kid. Hit Girl: I *never* "play"
Damon Macready: Mindy, no more homework, Babydoll. Time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye.
[Chris hands his father a list] Frank D'Amico: What's this? Chris D'Amico: That's everything I need. And you may have to screw someone over. Like Louie... Big Joe: Louie? Whoa, Chris. Chris D'Amico: Or somebody, it doesn't have to be Louie. Big Joe: ...
Frank D'Amico: [in falsetto voice] Mommy, I want to have a Kick-Ass party!
Hit Girl: [after Hit-Girl and Kick-Ass have landed on the roof of Mindy's building with the jet-pack] Thanks, Kick-Ass. My daddy... He would have been proud of *both* of us. Dave Lizewski: [removes his mask] Dave... [extends his hand] Dave Lizewski: ...
Hit Girl: [grinning at bad guy's balisong knife] Hey, I got one of those!
Dave Lizewski: Like most people my age, I just existed.
Damon Macready: Hit-Girl, back to headquarters!
Hit Girl: [to kick-ass] Hey Green asshole! You can't use the front door now!
