Vanessa Loring: How do I look? Bren: Like a new mom. Scared shitless.
Juno MacGuff: Silencio, Old Man!
Juno MacGuff: Yeah I came as soon as I got that ultrasound goo off my pelvis. It was crazy actually, my step-mom verbally abused the ultrasound tech and we got escorted off the premises.
Juno MacGuff: This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I've ever seen.
Juno MacGuff: Uhhh, I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active." What does it even mean? Am I gonna like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?
Mac MacGuff: I'm not ready to be a pop-pop. Bren: You're not going to be a pop-pop. Somebody else is going to find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.
[from trailer] Mac MacGuff: [a very pregnant Juno enters the room] Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug!
[last lines] Juno MacGuff: As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And I know people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but - I guess normalcy isn't really our style. Paulie Bleeker: Hey. Ju...
Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.
Juno MacGuff: [dog barking] Geez, Banana! Shut your freakin' gob!
Juno MacGuff: Ow, ow, fuckity-ow! Bren, when do I get that spinal tap thing? Bren: It's called a spinal block. And you can't have it yet, honey. The doctor said you're not dilated enough. Juno MacGuff: You mean I have to wait for it to get worse? Why...
Paulie Bleeker: I've wanted this for a really long time. Juno MacGuff: I know. Paulie Bleeker: [exhales] Wizard.
Juno MacGuff: I named my guitar "Roosevelt"-not Ted, Franklin. You know, the hot one, with polio.
Juno MacGuff: God, why is everyone always staring at me? Leah: Well, you are kind of... convex. Juno MacGuff: Wow, someone's been actually doing her geometry homework for once! Leah: I don't have a choice. Keith's been grading me really hard lately. ...
Juno MacGuff: [When Mark shows Juno one of his old comic books] "Most Fruitful Yuki"? What is... Oh my god, she's a pregnant superhero! Mark Loring: Isn't that great? I got it when I was in Japan with my band. She reminds me of you. Juno MacGuff: Wow...
Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.
Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this? Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cute...
