Malcolm Tucker: All right now, my lovely friends, the bottom line is... Michael Rodgers: Oh, God, I hate that phrase. "Bottom line." I mean, we're not in retailing. Malcolm Tucker: Sorry. Michael's quite right. I won't use that again. The bottom line...
Karen Clarke: Has a decision already been made in principle to advocate invasion? Linton Barwick: I would refer you to the recent comments of our colleague from the UK, mister Simon Foster, in that regard. Karen Clarke: Yes, I think that mister Foste...
Malcolm Tucker: When you go to America, talk to Karen Clark at the State Department, yeah? Simon Foster: Right, OK. I'll give it a whirl. Malcolm Tucker: Keep away from Linton Barwick. He's pushing the war for Caulderwood's lot. I'll deal with him. H...
Lt. Gen. George Miller: Twelve thousand troops. But that's not enough. That's the amount that are going to die. And at the end of a war you need some soldiers left, really, or else it looks like you've lost.
Simon Foster: I feel like we should have hookers, do you know what I mean? I mean in here... now. Limo Driver: Do you want girls? Simon Foster: No, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. No, sorry. No hookers, it was just a joke. I hate hookers. Not in ...
Malcolm Tucker: This is the minister of international development here, he should be talking about... food parcels... not... fucking, arse-spraying mayhem!
Judy: You know they're all kids in Washington? It's like Bugsy Malone, but with real guns.
Jamie MacDonald: You think that's his real name? Iceman? To Mr. and Mrs. Man, a son... Ice?
Toby Wright: [looking at George Washington monument] See that? Pull that out, America deflates. Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, it's very easy to mock. The closest you'll ever get to one of those is buying a fucking Toblerone. I'll wait in the car. Simon Foste...
Lt. Gen. George Miller: So you're not resigning? Karen Clarke: Are you still playing the hawk? Simon Foster: Well, in... in a way I'm playing a much cleverer game than that... I'm a fake hawk. Lt. Gen. George Miller: [pause] A what? Simon Foster: ......
Malcolm Tucker: Do I look like I've ever set foot in a stationery cupboard? I do all my shagging in five-star hotels!
Linton Barwick: It's early days, my friends. All roads lead to Munich. [leaves] Malcolm Tucker: 'All roads lead to Munich... ' What the fuck does that mean? Simon Foster: Well, I think it means, uh... actually, no, no, I don't know what it means.
Simon Foster: That's not supposed to be out there... Malcolm Tucker: Well, it is out there, it's out there now, lurking like a big hairy rapist at a coach station. You know, if I could, I'd punch you into paralysis!
Simon Foster: Tobes, I don't want to have to read you the riot act but I am going to have to read you some extracts from the riot act, like section one, paragraph one: don't leave your boss twisting in the wind and then burst in late, smelling like a...
Jamie MacDonald: [calling Tucker] OK. Your phone is off, but there's been a catastrofuck here. Someone's leaked Liza Weld's PWIP PIP paper to the BBC. I reckon it's going to be on the six o'clock news, one o'clock your time. That is going to fucking ...
Simon Foster: Okay, off you go. Toby Wright: What do you mean? Simon Foster: I've got this covered. Go and find the next thing. Talk to that Chad boy, the boy from "The Shining." He knows things. Toby Wright: Don't make me pump Chad. Simon Foster: No...
Sir Jonathan Tutt: So, you must be Simon. I'm the British Ambassador to the UN, Sir Jonathan Tutt. Well, this is it, ladies and gentlemen. This is the United Nations. We, sir, are in here. So, if there's anything you need, just give me a whistle. You...
Malcolm Tucker: Right. Was it you? Simon Foster: No, it wasn't. No. What? Malcolm Tucker: You do know what I'm talking about, don't you? Simon Foster: No. And... And... whatever it was, I almost certainly didn't do it. Malcolm Tucker: Was it you, the...
