[last lines] Ray: There's a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that'll never be opened. And I thought, if I survive all of this, I'd go to that house, apologize to the mother there, and accept whatever punishmen...
Ray: Harry, I've got an idea. Harry: What? Ray: My room faces out the canal, right? I'm going to go back to me room, jump into the canal, see if I can swim to the other side and escape. Harry: All right. Ray: If you go outside around the corner, you ...
Natalie: [Harry gets angry and is destroying the phone, his wife approach him, saying:] Harry. Harry! It's a inanimate fucking object! Harry: [to wife] You're an inanimate fuckin' object!
Ray: [beating a tourist that he believes to be American] That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fuckin' cunt!
Ray: One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.
Ken: [looking at a surreal Bosch painting] It's Judgment Day, you know? Ray: No. What's that then? Ken: Well, it's, you know, the final day on Earth, when mankind will be judged for the crimes they've committed and that. Ray: Oh. And see who gets int...
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some m...
Harry: [to Yuri] An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.
Ken: Coming up? Ray: What's up there? Ken: The view. Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here. Ken: Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world. Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a...
Overweight Man: Been to the top of the tower? Ray: Yeah... yeah, it's rubbish. Overweight Man: It is? The guide book says it's a must see. Ray: Well you lot ain't going up there. Overweight Man: Pardon me? Why? Ray: I mean, it's all winding stairs. I...
Eirik: I was trying to rob him. And he took my gun from me. And the gun was full of blanks. And he shot a blank into my eye. And now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say. Harry: Well to be honest it sounds like it's all your fault. ...
Ken: [Ray walks into the bar high on cocaine] How'd your date go? Ray: My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing which lasted all too briefly - isn't that always the way? - , on...
Ray: Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.
Ray: A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves. A disproportionate amount, actually. Hervé Villechaize off of Fantasy Island. I think somebody from the Time Bandits did. I suppose they must get really sad about like... being really little and that......
Chloë: So what do you do, Raymond? Ray: I... shoot people for money. Chloë: [smiling] What kinds of people? Ray: Priests, children... you know, the usual. Chloë: Is there a lot of money to be made in that business? Ray: There is for priests. There...
Harry: [about Ray] So he's having a really nice time? Ken: Well, I'm having a really nice time. I'm not sure it's really his cup of tea. Harry: [after a long pause] What? Ken: You know, I'm not sure it's really his thing. Harry: What do you mean it's...
Harry: Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in? Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemail and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three, you better fucking be in tomorrow...
