[in Rita's car] Rita: On the Porsche the door handle is a little hidden by that thingamajig, so if you're having trouble finding it... Annie: NO! Sam: Ok, I think maybe Annie's not exactly ready to go yet.
Rita: Can you grasp the concept of manipulating the truth... not lying, just a little tweak here and there? Sam: [thinks for a few seconds] No.
Rita: [pounding her hands] Sam, you gotta be firm on this.
Sam: You've grown. Lucy: Have I? Sam: Yeah, 'cause your ears are bigger and your eyes are older.
Rita: Where is your father? Willy Harrison: Where do you think?
[making fun of Lucy's dad] Conner Rhodes: Sorry, Mr. Egg.
Joe: Do we get a balloon with these? Shoe Salesman: ...Yeah Robert: All of us or just her?
Brad: I think you should sound like, a normal person... from the heart! From... the... heart! Ifty: From the heart Sam: This argh okay hello thank you for calling this is Saaaaaaaam Ifty: Wow! Brad: I feel that was a very thouching moment right there...
Ifty: I saw that on Channel 5 news... With the reporter with the toupee and Mr. Turner lost his toupee! Mr. Turner: [Narrows his eyes angrily] Thank you, Mr. Wali.
Rita: It's like every morning I wake up and I FAIL!
Lucy: Daddy, did God made for you to be like this or was it an accident? Sam: Ok, what do you mean? Lucy: I mean you're different. Sam: But what do you mean? Lucy: You're not like other daddies. Sam: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. Lucy: It's ...
Sam: OK, remember when Paul McCartney wrote the song "Michelle" and then he only wrote the first part, Annie said. And then he gave that part to John Lennon, and he wrote the part that said, "I love you, I love you, I love you." And Annie said that i...
Sam: Yeah, but I tried, I tried hard. Rita: Try harder! Sam: Yeah, but you don't know, you don't know! Rita: I don't know WHAT? Sam: Yeah, you don't know what is like when you try, and you try, and you try, and you try, and you don't ever get there! ...
Rita: I just don't know what to call you: retarded, mentally retarded, mentally handicapped, mentally disabled, intellectually handicapped, intellectually disabled, developementally disabled... Sam: You can call me Sam.
Rita: Now, Ms. Cossell, in all the time that you've known them, have you ever questioned Sam's ability as a father? Annie: Never. Rita: Never? Annie: Never. Look at Lucy. She's strong. She displays true empathy for people, all kinds of people. I know...
Lucy: I won't read the word! Sam: I'm your father and I'm telling you to read the word. Cause I can tell you to because I'm your father. Lucy: I'm stupid. Sam: You are not stupid! Lucy: Yes, I am. Sam: No, you are not stupid 'cause you can read that ...
Lucy: Why are men bald? Sam: Sometimes they're bald because their head is shiny and they don't have hair on it. So their head is just more of their face.
Sam: Lucy doesn't need me anymore. She has a new family now... and she doesn't need me anymore. Rita: Is that what she said? Sam: It's because I know that. Because I just know that. Rita: Well. That's the first stupid thing I've ever heard you say.
