[Danny and Nicholas have just watched 'Point Break'] Danny Butterman: What do you think? Nicholas Angel: Well, I wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no-holds-barred, adrenaline-fueled thrill ride. But there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of car...
[Angel has knocked out Michael] Simon Skinner: [on walkie-talkie] Michael, are you there? Nicholas Angel: [pretending to be Michael] Yarp... Simon Skinner: Sergeant Angel's been taken care of? Nicholas Angel: Yarp... Simon Skinner: He's not going to ...
Nicholas Angel: What's the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before? [proceeds to leap over a series of back-garden fences]
[First night in Sandford] Nicholas Angel: I'm taking you to the station. [pause] Nicholas Angel: Where is it?
[while holding a ginger-haired boy hostage] Simon Skinner: Stop, or the ginger-nut gets it!
Nicholas Angel: I didn't mean to upset the apple cart. DS Andy Cartwright: Oh yeah, cause we all sell apples 'round here, don't we? Danny Butterman: Your dad sells apples, Andy. DS Andy Cartwright: And raspberries.
Dr. Robin Hatcher: I've told him several times "You shouldn't eat late at night". PC Doris Thatcher: Oh, I dunno. I quite like a little midnight gobble. Haha! PC Bob Walker: ...cocks.
DS Andy Wainwright: Angel! Don't go being a twat, now. Nicholas Angel: I wouldn't give you the satisfaction!
[Nick is being introduced to the NWA for the first time and expresses his religious convictions to Reverend Shooter] Reverend Philip Shooter: Oh, you're an agnostic, then? Dr. Robin Hatcher: [calling out] I think I've got a cream for that!
Heston Services Clerk: Sir, is there anything I can do for you? Nicholas Angel: No... This is something I have to do myself.
Nicholas Angel: I may not be a man of God, Reverend, but I know right and I know wrong and I have the good grace to know which is which. Reverend Philip Shooter: Oh, fuck off, grasshopper. [Reverend Shooter pulls out a pair of derringers from his cas...
Nicholas Angel: You're a doctor, deal with it! Danny Butterman: Yeah, motherfucker!
[Tom is seated at the command centre, waving a pointed finger at CCTV photos of a street entertainer] Tom Weaver: If we don't come down hard on these clowns, we are going to be up to our *balls* in jugglers!
Inspector Frank Butterman: I suppose you're wondering why we call them the "Andies"? Nicholas Angel: They're both called Andrew? Inspector Frank Butterman: [delighted] They said you were good! Danny Butterman: Also because talking to them is an uphil...
Nicholas Angel: [shouting] Have you ever wondered why, why the crime rate in Sandford is so low, yet the accident rate is so high?
Danny Butterman: Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'
[Angel is woken in the middle of the night with the report of a suspicious death] Nicholas Angel: [on the phone] "Decaffeinated?" [cut to shot of two decapitated heads]
[looking at a suspicious-looking passerby] Nicholas Angel: All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that? Danny Butterman: He's fuck-ugly. Nicholas Angel: Or, he doesn't want you to see his face. Danny But...
