Danny Butterman: Where's the trolley boy? Nicholas Angel: In the freezer. Danny Butterman: Did you say "cool off?" Nicholas Angel: No I didn't say anything... Danny Butterman: Shame. Nicholas Angel: Well, there was the bit that you missed where I dis...
[at the scene of Leslie Tiller's death] Sergeant Tony Fisher: Hang about, hang about... you're saying this wasn't an accident? [Angel grimaces and drops money into the swear box] Nicholas Angel: Leslie Tiller was FUCKING murdered! DS Andy Cartwright:...
DS Andy Wainwright: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city. DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin' round here! Nicholas Angel: Like who? DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers. Nicholas Angel: Who else? DS Andy...
[Nicholas Angel is having a crackdown on underage drinkers in the pub] Nicholas Angel: Oy! When's your birthday? Underage Drinker #1: 22nd of February. Nicholas Angel: What year? Underage Drinker #1: Every year! Nicholas Angel: Get out! Nicholas Ange...
Danny Butterman: Point Break or Bad Boys II? Nicholas Angel: Which one do you think I'll prefer? Danny Butterman: No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?
Joyce Cooper: Fascist! Nicholas Angel: I beg your pardon? Joyce Cooper: [doing a crossword puzzle] System of government categorized by extreme dictatorship. Seven across. Nicholas Angel: Actually that's fascism. Joyce Cooper: Fascism! Wonderful. Nich...
DS Andy Cartwright: You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village.
Nicholas Angel: The swan's escaped, right... and who might you be? P.I Staker: Mr. Staker, yeah... Mr. Peter Ian Staker. Nicholas Angel: P.I Staker? Right! "Piss Taker!" Come on! Nicholas Angel: [cut to Angel talking to Mr. Staker] OK, Mr. Staker...
[after supposedly stabbing Sgt. Angel, Danny is waving a sachet of tomato ketchup] Danny Butterman: Ta-daaa! Nicholas Angel: Danny, this is murder. Danny Butterman: It's not murder, it's ketchup. Nicholas Angel: It's Frank! He's appointed himself Jud...
[Doris knocks down a female shop assistant with a yellow "Slippery floor" sign] DS Andy Wainwright: Nice one, Doris. PC Doris Thatcher: Nothing like a bit of girl on girl!
DS Andy Wainwright: It's all right, Andy! It's just bolognaise!
Danny Butterman: What's it like being stabbed? Nicholas Angel: It was the single most painful experience of my life Danny Butterman: [nodding] What's the second most painful?
Danny Butterman: What about... 'Lethal Weapon'? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: You've seen 'Die Hard', though? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: 'Bad Boys II'? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: You ain't seen 'Bad Boys II'?
[Andy takes a swig of beer, leaving a "moustache" of froth on his moustache] Nicholas Angel: You've got a moustache. DS Andy Wainwright: ...I know.
Nicholas Angel: What's the situation? DS Andy Wainwright: Two blokes and a fuck-load of cutlery!
Simon Skinner: Lock me up. Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry? Simon Skinner: I'm a slasher! I must be stopped! Nicholas Angel: You're a what? Simon Skinner: A slasher... of prices! I'm Simon Skinner - I run the local supermarché. Drop in and see me sometime...
Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: Ever been in a high-speed pursuit? Nic...
Nicholas Angel: You don't mind a bit of manpower, do ya Doris? PC Doris Thatcher: [laughing] Oh, dirty bastard!
