Kate McCallister: [while on the phone, Kevin jumps onto the bed] No, we're not bringing the dog. We took him to the kennel... Hey, hey! Get off. Kevin, out of the room! Kevin McCallister: Hang up the phone and make me, why don't you?
Peter McCallister: Hi. Harry: Hi. Are you Mr. McCallister? Peter McCallister: Yeah. Harry: The Mr. McCallister who lives here? Peter McCallister: Yes. Pizza Boy: Oh, good, because somebody owes me $122.50.
Kevin McCallister: Santa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second? Santa Claus: Yes, but make it quick. Santa's got a little get together he's late for. Kevin McCallister: Okay. I know you're not the real Santa Claus. Santa Claus: [his beard is pulle...
Kevin McCallister: [to Santa's helper] This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins...
Marv: [the McCallister house is filled with supposed partygoers; music is blasting] Did they come back? Harry: From *Paris*?
Harry: [pointing to the McCallister house] That's the one, Marv, that's the silver tuna. Marv: Oh, it's very gee. Harry: Very gee, huh? It's loaded. It's got lot's of top-flight goods. Stereos, VCRs... Marv: Toys? Harry: Probably looking at some very...
Marv: [listening to a phone message in the house they are robbing] Hey, Harry, that house we were at last night, was that the McCallisters? Harry: Yeah. Marv: You're right. They're gone. Harry: I knew they were. Marv: Silver tuna tonight!
Frank McCallister: There's no way on earth we can make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes. Peter McCallister: Think positive, Frank! Frank McCallister: You be positive. I'll be realistic.
Marv: [Harry and Marv arrive at the Mcallister house at 9:00PM] So how do you want to get in? Harry: We'll go thru the back. Maybe the kid will let us in, you never know. Marv: Yeah. He's a kid. Kids are stupid.
Rod McCallister: [watching Old Man Marley] What's he doing now? Buzz McCallister: He walks up and down the streets every night, salting the sidewalks. Rod McCallister: Maybe he's just trying to be nice. Buzz McCallister: No way. See that garbage can ...
Kevin McCallister: Everyone in this family *hates* me! Kate McCallister: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family. Kevin McCallister: I don't want another family. I don't want any family. Families suck! Kate McCallister: Just stay up there. I...
Kevin McCallister: Buzz? Buzz McCallister: Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?
Linnie McCallister: I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff. Jeff McCallister: Shut up, Linnie. Kevin McCallister: You know what I should pack? Jeff McCallister: Toilet paper and water.
Furnace: Ha, ha, ha. Hello, Kevin. Ha, ha, ha. Kevin McCallister: Shut up.
Kate McCallister: There are 15 people in this house, you're the only one who has to make trouble. Kevin McCallister: I'm the only one getting dumped on. Kate McCallister: You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs. Kevin McCallister: I *am* upst...
Mitch Murphy: [about the taxi-van] How fast does this thing go? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have four-wheel drive? Airport Driver: Look, I told you before, kid. Don't bother me. Now beat it.
Kevin McCallister: Hey, I'm not afraid any more! I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more! [Old Man Marley approaches Kevin and stares at him - Kevin runs back inside, screaming like a maniac]
[Harry and Marv have caught Kevin in the Murphy's house and hung him on the basement door] Marv: What are we gonna do to him, Harry? Harry: We'll do exactly what he did to us: we're gonna burn his head with a blowtorch! Marv: And smash his face with ...
