Maude: Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much.
Maude: I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They're so tall and simple. What flower would you like to be? Harold: I don't know. One of these, maybe. Maude: Why do you say that? Harold: Because they're all alike. Maude: Oooh, but they...
Maude: A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life. *Reach* out. Take a *chance*. Get *hurt* even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an ...
Harold: You sure have a way with people. Maude: Well, they're my species!
[last lines] Maude: Oh, Harold... That's *wonderful.* Go and love some more.
Maude: The earth is my body; my head is in the stars. [pauses] Maude: Who said that, Harold? Harold: I don't know. Maude: Well, I suppose I did, then.
Harold: Maude? Maude: Yeah? Harold: [pulls the stamped coin from the arcade out of his pocket] Here. Maude: A gift! [reads the engraving] Maude: "Harold loves Maude."... and Maude loves Harold. This is the nicest gift I've received in years. [she thr...
Psychiatrist: Tell me, Harold, how many of these, eh, *suicides* have you performed? Harold: An accurate number would be difficult to gauge. Psychiatrist: Well, just give me a rough estimate. Harold: A rough estimate? I'd say [savoring the thought] H...
[seagulls fly across the sky] Maude: Dreyfus once wrote from Devil's Island that he would see the most glorious birds. Many years later in Brittany he realized they had only been seagulls... For me they will always be - *glorious* birds.
Maude: You know, at one time, I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I decided that was an idea way before its time. Zoos are full, prisons are overflowing... oh my, how the world still *dearly* loves a *cage.*
Maude: That was fun! Let's play something together. Harold: I don't play anything. Maude: Nothing? Dear me, everybody should be able to make some music. That's the cosmic dance.
Maude: Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much *life.* Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully.
Harold: Maude. Maude: Hmm? Harold: Do you pray? Maude: Pray? No. I communicate. Harold: With God? Maude: With *life*.
Harold: I haven't lived. I've died a few times.
Psychiatrist: A very common neurosis; particularly in this society, whereby the male child subconsciously wishes to sleep with his mother. Of course what puzzles me, Harold; is that you want to sleep with your grandmother.
Maude: [gesturing to a sick tree growing through a sidewalk] Harold, we have *got* to do something about this life. Harold: What? Maude: We'll transplant it. To the forest. Harold: You can't do that. Maude: Why not? Harold: This is public property. M...
Maude: [to a motorcycle officer] *Don't* get officious. You're not yourself when you're officious - That is the curse of a government job.
Mrs. Chasen: I have here, Harold, the forms sent out by the National Computer Dating Service. It seems to me that as you do not get along with the daughters of my friends, this is the best way for you to find a prospective wife. [Harold starts to int...
