Walt Kowalski: Oh, I've got one. A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fuck out of here."
Duke: What you lookin' at old man? Walt Kowalski: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.
Barber Martin: There. You finally look like a human being again. You shouldn't wait so long between hair cuts, you cheap son of a bitch. Walt Kowalski: Yeah. I'm surprised you're still around. I was always hoping you'd die off and they got someone in...
[last lines] Lawyer: [reading from Walt's will] And I'd like to leave my 1972 Gran Torino to... [the lawyer pauses and looks up at Ashley, who smiles expectantly] Lawyer: ...my friend... Thao Vang Lor. On the condition that you don't chop-top the roo...
Walt Kowalski: I'll blow a hole in your face then go inside and sleep like a baby.
Walt Kowalski: I once fixed a door that wasn't even broken yet.
Father Janovich: Why didn't you call the police? Walt Kowalski: Well you know, I prayed for them to come but nobody answered.
Walt Kowalski: [sneering and aiming his gun] Get off my lawn!
Thao Vang Lor: Excuse me Sir, I need a haircut if you ain't too busy you old Italian son of a bitch prick barber. Boy, does my ass hurt from all of the guys at my construction job.
Thug: How old are you anyway? Sue Lor: Mentally, I'm way too old for you.
Walt Kowalski: [to Father Janovich] I think you're an overeducated 27-year-old virgin who likes to hold the hands of superstitious old ladies and promise them everlasting life.
Father Janovich: What can I do for you Walt? Walt Kowalski: I'm here for confession. Father Janovich: Holy Jesus, what did you do?
Walt Kowalski: Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.
Walt Kowalski: What the hell does everybody want with my Gran Torino?
Youa: You're funny. Walt Kowalski: I've been called a lot of things, but never funny.
Thao Vang Lor: [Walt's smoking] You should quit. Those things are bad for you. Walt Kowalski: Yeah? So's being in a gang.
Walt Kowalski: [about Thao] I don't care about him. Sue Lor: You hang out with him, you teach him to fix things, you saved him from that fucked cousin of ours. Walt Kowalski: Watch your language, lady. Sue Lor: And you're a better man to him than our...
Walt Kowalski: I'm here for a confession. Father Janovich: Oh, Lord Jesus what have you done?
