Mrs. X: Henry, may I speak to you a minute? Over here. Did you and Mary have sexual intercourse? Henry Spencer: [stammering] Why? Mrs. X: Did you? Henry Spencer: Why are you asking me this question? Mrs. X: I have a very good reason, and now I want y...
Lady in the Radiator: [singing] In Heaven, everything is fine. In Heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things. And I've got mine.
Mr. X: Mary usually does the carving but tonight since you are our guest, you could do it, Henry. Henry Spencer: Of course. I'd be glad to. So I just, uh... I just cut them up like regular chickens? Mr. X: Sure, just cut them up like regular chickens...
[first lines] Beautiful Girl Across the Hall: Are you Henry? Henry Spencer: Yes? Beautiful Girl Across the Hall: A girl named "Mary" called on the payphone in the hallway about an hour ago. She said that she's at her parents and that you're invited t...
Beautiful Girl Across the Hall: I locked myself out of my apartment... [pause] Beautiful Girl Across the Hall: ... and it's so late.
Mr. X: I thought I heard a stranger. We've got chicken tonight. Strangest damn things. They're man made. Little damn things. Smaller than my fist. But they're new. Hi, I'm Bill. Henry Spencer: Hello there. I'm Henry. Mrs. X: Henry works at LaPelle's ...
[the Baby is going into violent convultions and has broken out in spots] Henry Spencer: Oh! You ARE sick!
Mary X: [to the crying baby] Shut up! [Baby continues to cry] Mary X: I can't take it anymore! I'm going home! Henry Spencer: What are you talking about? Mary X: All I need is a decent night's sleep! Henry Spencer: Why don't you just stay home... Mar...
Mr. X: Well Henry, what do you know? Henry Spencer: Oh, I don't know much of anything.
[last lines] Pencil Machine Operator: It's okay!
Mary X: You wouldn't mind marrying me, would you Henry? Henry Spencer: Well... No.
Mrs. X: It's Henry isn't it? Mary tells me you're a very nice fellow. What do you do? Henry Spencer: Oh, I'm on vacation. Mrs. X: What did you do?
Mr. X: The girls have heard this before but... 14 years ago I had an operation on my left arm here. The doctors said that I wouldn't be able to ever use it. But what the hell do they know, I said. So I rubbed it for a half-hour every day. And slowly ...
