[first lines] Brian Taylor: I am the police, and I'm here to arrest you. You've broken the law. I did not write the law. I may even disagree with the law but I will enforce it. No matter how you plead, cajole, beg or attempt to stir my sympathies, no...
Mike Zavala: [after the Captain walks out] Why do you get nervous? Brian Taylor: Women want him, men want to be him, man. He's just... Mike Zavala: Yeah, I know. But you want him. Brian Taylor: Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd go down on him if he asked. M...
Mike Zavala: My Grandmother said, "If you can live without her, then man-up and cut her off. Don't string her along."
Brian Taylor: He was my brother.
Brian Taylor: You feel like a hero? Mike Zavala: What? Brian Taylor: You feel like a hero? Mike Zavala: No. Brian Taylor: Yeah, me neither. [pauses] Brian Taylor: What's a hero feel like? Mike Zavala: I don't know, man. Did I tell you that me and uh....
Brian Taylor: I want somebody to talk to, not just sleep with. Do you fucking understand what I'm saying? Mike Zavala: White people get hung up on this fucking soulmate bullshit. Just hook up with a chick that can cook and wants kids!
Captain Reese: An on-the-job shooting is still considered a homicide. It's never an easy ride. If you do the right thing, I'll always have your back. Do the wrong thing and cross me - I will personally throw you under the bus.
Mike Zavala: Get the fuck out of here. There's a drunk man outside the liquor store?
Sarge: Van Hauser wants to file a complaint on you, Taylor. Brian Taylor: Oh, the USS Van Houser? The LAPD's stealthiest submarine, only surfaces at the end of watch?
Brian Taylor: [taping themselves] Dude! Don't swear, man, I have to edit that out when you swear. Mike Zavala: Oh, fuck! Oh, shit, dude! Fuck, man!
Van Hauser: The LAPD's got a big fucking cock!
Mike Zavala: Janet, you got a lot of heart hooking up with a cop. Because it takes a strong person. And I see a lot of cop's wives in here, they're all nodding their heads. You gotta take care of her, bro. Cause I'm her big brother now. And every cop...
[last lines] Mike Zavala: Let's go fight crime or something.
Brian Taylor: So Mr. Big Evil, why do they call you Big Evil? Big Evil: Because, my evil is big.
Mike Zavala: I kick doors down.
Sarge: LAPD! Drop the guns! Drop 'em! La La: Curbside Gang, putos! Sarge: Fuck you! [the police open fire]
Brian Taylor: I don't want to die here, dude. Mike Zavala: You're not gonna die here. You're not gonna die. God loves cops. Brian Taylor: I fucked up, dude. I fucked up! Don't tell Janet I fucked up. Mike Zavala: I'm gonna stay right here, bro. I'm g...
Sarge: [at Taylor's wedding reception, Sarge, looking a bit drunk, is talking to a group of US Marines] My boy Garcia? He's a fucking beast, man. Right? I've seen this motherfucker knock an asshole out with one punch. Yoked assholes, man. Yoked assho...
